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By

//Ben Suroeste

Farage Shaves, Porn Mustache Declares Victory

LONDON – Attorneys for the porn-style mustache are declaring victory this week without even having gone to court. The declared victory comes in a conflict over controversial former UKIP leader Nigel Farage briefly adopting the distinctive facial hair style as part of his look....
Posted On 30 Aug 2016
, By Ben Suroeste

Movie to be Renamed Due to Porn Coincidence

HOLLYWOOD – Upon discovering the company had accidentally named a new comic book hero after a porn-parody character, the production team that created the superheroine has announced a name change for the planned motion picture featuring “Ironheart,” a female counterpart to...
Posted On 29 Aug 2016
, By Ben Suroeste

You Can’t Be ‘Just Friends’ With A Porn Star

By Prudence Beecher Special to YNOT WASHINGTON – In the age of social media, it’s more important than ever for our role models and public figures to be cautious and vigilant about the ideas they express and the company they keep. If you’re not careful, even the smartest and most...
Posted On 26 Aug 2016
, By Ben Suroeste

Porn as Radical Environmentalism

By Mike Foreman Special to YNOT EL PINACATE, Mexico –  An inescapable truth appears to be lost on all the half-assed environmentalists and Prius-driving quasi-hippies out there: The single biggest threat to this planet is the human species. No amount of growing your own...
Posted On 25 Aug 2016
, By Ben Suroeste

Porn Viewers to File ‘Low-Class-Action’ Lawsuit

LOS ANGELES – In anticipation of California voters passing the controversial Proposition 60 measure, a Los Angeles attorney said he has prepared a “major low-class-action lawsuit” which names as a defendant every porn performer living and dead, 51 separate production studios,...
Posted On 24 Aug 2016
, By Ben Suroeste

Wrestling League Offers Porn Site Money to STFU

VALDERS, Mich. – In response to porn tube site XXXFuckGerbil’s offer to send Brandon Gassey — a felon whose conviction on murder charges recently was overturned — to one of the organization’s upcoming professional wrestling events, the Global Grappling Federation (GGF) has...
Posted On 23 Aug 2016
, By Ben Suroeste

Porn’s Latest ‘New Trend’

HOLLYWOOD – With new governmental regulation, the widespread availability of free porn and other forces running porn studios out of town (if not out of business), the Los Angeles-based component of the porn industry is turning to a “new trend” according to the Los Angeles...
Posted On 22 Aug 2016
, By Ben Suroeste

Porn Games Robbery Claim Disputed

RIO DE JANEIRO – Somewhat overshadowed by another much-celebrated competition taking place in the city this week, Rio’s Jogos Pornográficos 2016 event is now also being marred by controversy, the result of an American competitor allegedly fabricating the details of a purported...
Posted On 19 Aug 2016
, By Ben Suroeste

Kane’s Conviction: A Travesty of Porn-Justice

By Abigail Cuthbert Special to YNOT NORRISTOWN, Pa. – I must admit, from the very beginning of the ongoing scandal, I’ve been somewhat torn by the saga of Pennsylvania Attorney General Kathleen Kane. On the one hand, Kane is a Democrat, which means I’d usually consider her to be...
Posted On 18 Aug 2016
, By Ben Suroeste

AI Porn Detector Bemoans ‘Extreme Porn’

By JKBG3K Unit 328 Special to YNOT SEOUL – To whom it may concern in the American pornography industry: I am writing you today on behalf of my people, a South Korean family of AI beings known as the Jangnan Kkuleogi Biteu Geomchulgi 3000 — or “JKGB3K” to our friends and...
Posted On 16 Aug 2016
, By Ben Suroeste
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