FOXBOROUGH, Mass. – As part of my ongoing quest to sniff out conspiratorial connections between the adult entertainment industry and other segments of society, I’ve traveled deep behind enemy lines into what the football cognoscenti call “Patriots Nation,” home of championship...

SYDNEY, Australia – I’ve seen a lot of commercials for sea cruises over the years, usually featuring happy, smiling couples dancing to unheard music on the deck of some massive vessel with a name like the Caribbean Duchess, or the Carnival Barker or the Floating Cesspool of...

By Skink Gankstench Special to YNOT COLUMBIA, S.C. – The liberal mainstream media is having an absolute tizzy this week over the latest attempt to stem the ever-surging tide of online pornography which continues to erode the moral fiber of our nation: a modest, quite reasonable...

By Jack Titanium-Nickelloy Special to YNOT MINNEAPOLIS – As all you haters no doubt have read by now, one of my former non-colleagues from several law firms with which I have absolutely no association (other than having co-founded, directed and managed them) and I have been...

WOODLAND HILLS, Calif. – In its latest exploration of the mind of the modern porn performer, adult entertainment studio Oak Missile asked porn stars what they would do if they were elected President of the United States. Jennifer Lowe-Rents: As President, my highest priority...

LOS ANGELES – It’s December again, which means — in addition to worse-than-usual traffic and egregious playing of Christmas music at every shopping mall — ’tis the season for new Christmas porn releases from everybody’s favorite adult entertainment studios. Here’s a quick...

By Steve Stylist Special To YNOT PORTLAND, Ore. – We’ve probably never met, but odds are pretty good you’ve seen my ex-girlfriend naked, on her knees, sucking my cock. I say the odds are pretty good because after she dumped me, I uploaded a bunch of homemade porno we made...

GLAMIS, Calif. – As I often do when brainstorming ideas to revolutionize the adult entertainment industry, I’ve sought a quiet place far from the hustle and bustle of Porn Valley to engage in some deep contemplation, consumption of idea-inspiring chemicals and comprehensively...

HOLLYWOOD – On the heels of a massive marketing campaign designed to reemphasize her commitment to white nationalism, Tila Tequila has rocketed up the charts to become the web’s fourth most popular neo-Nazi porn performer, according to BuzzyMetrics, a California-based firm...

By Dewey Truman Special to YNOT DUSSELDORF, Germany – According to a translated copy of a German news article I read quickly on a tablet with a broken screen while walking briskly through Heathrow Airport, a German spy has been caught making gay porn for consumption by ISIS...