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//YNOT WTF!
awards statue

Angelina Blanca Captures 125 out of 127 Inaugural B.S. Awards

LAS VEGAS? – In an event recently held at an undisclosed location very possibly located somewhere near the Las Vegas Strip, adult mega-super-duper-star Angelina Blanca took home 125 of the 127 available trophies at the inaugural Ben Suroeste Awards (“BS Awards”), veteran adult...
Posted On 02 Mar 2023
, By Ben Suroeste
Senator Mike Lee, Utah, author of the Internet Obscenity Definition Act

Let’s Cut to the Chase, Senator Lee: Sponsor the NO FUN Act

WASHINGTON, D.C. – According to Mike Lee’s website, the Senator from Utah has “earned a reputation as an outstanding practitioner of the law based on his sound judgment, abilities in the courtroom, and thorough understanding of the Constitution.” I emphasize that last bit because...
Posted On 30 Dec 2022
, By Ben Suroeste
Pope

The Pope Has Spoken – And it’s the Same Old Sh*t

I know you’ve been on the edge of your seats waiting to hear from Pope Francis about his feelings regarding online pornography, so I’m happy to report the Vatican has published a new transcript of his compelling opinion on the matter. Please pay attention so that your souls don’t...
Posted On 10 Nov 2022
, By Alyssa
Ben Suroeste to virtually sign NFTs, or something

Fake Journalist to Virtually Sign NFTs at Bookstore, or Something

NEW YORK (OR MAYBE SAN FRANCISCO?) — Ben Suroeste, the adult industry’s premier fake journalist, multiple award-winning Sandwich Artist and certified Lack-of-Life Coach, may or may not be virtually signing his eponymous line of BS NFTs at “a big, fancy bookstore in New...
Posted On 26 Aug 2022
, By Ben Suroeste
Autoblow

Who Needs Human Touch When You Have Autoblow?

It’s finally happened! A man’s need for an actual human to get him off (and this includes his own hand) has become extinct with the invention of Autoblow – a male sex toy that is working to make it nearly impossible to tell the difference between its sweet robotic touch and a...
Posted On 11 Aug 2022
, By Alyssa
Fake News from a fake journalist

Top-Rated Fake Journalist Now Offering Very Expensive Advice

HOLLYWOOD, Ariz. – Ben Suroeste, an “alternative adult journalist” who ranks in the top 0.00001% of creators on the OnlyPornScribes.gw fake news platform, is now offering incredibly expensive advice to “anyone gullible enough to send me some crypto,” the alleged writer announced...
Posted On 09 Aug 2022
, By Ben Suroeste
Join Our Team

Dream Job – Head of Porn Research – Apply Now!

Positions are limited — apply now! Bedbible, the British company that calls itself “your go-to-source for all things sex and sex toys” recently dialed it up an exciting, erotic notch by posting a “Head of Porn Research” position to round out their staff. Ding Ding Ding!...
Posted On 18 Apr 2022
, By Alyssa
Office

Move Over 401Ks, Here Comes the Wank Pod

Everyone knows the key to finding and retaining good employees is way more than a nice paycheck. It’s benefits, baby, benefits. Now, you could go the traditional route with offering your hard-working right-hand gals and girls a nice 401K retirement program, health insurance or an...
Posted On 18 Mar 2022
, By Alyssa
MetaDale Forum

Pinedale Forum Announces Launch of “MetaDale Forum”

PINEDALE, Wyo. – Pinedale Forum, the adult industry’s premier rural U.S. trade conference, announced today the launch of “MetaDale Forum”, a trade event that’s “poised to revolutionize the adult trade show as we know it” according to Reggie Cheney, CEO of Adult E-Vents Ltd. and...
Posted On 26 Nov 2021
, By Ben Suroeste
Florida

Hey Florida: Want to a True ‘Free Speech’ Platform? Build One.

Happy Fourth Fifth of July, everybody! And since there’s no day like Independence Day to address weighty subjects like civil liberties, civil rights and uncivil discourse, I have a modest proposal that’s sure to be met with immediate approval by its intended audience – its...
Posted On 05 Jul 2021
, By Ben Suroeste
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