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//YNOT WTF!
If Pearl-Clutching Rhetoric is the Same as Legal Precedent, Texas Wins

If Pearl-Clutching Rhetoric is the Same as Legal Precedent, Texas Wins

AUSTIN, Texas – In a response opposing the Free Speech Coalition’s expedited request for a preliminary injunction in the organization’s lawsuit challenging Texas’ new law requiring age-verification by and the publication of mandatory public health warning labels on adult...
Posted On 25 Aug 2023
, By Ben Suroeste
Oh, You Mean THAT Ed Burke

Oh, You Mean THAT Ed Burke

WASHINGTON – At first, when I saw an email inviting me to an event in DC hosted in conjunction with the “Edmund Burke Foundation”, I was psyched. I remember Ed from college and that dude was just barrels of fun to hang out with. Typically, those barrels were filled with...
Posted On 30 Jun 2023
, By Ben Suroeste
UK Peer's theory makes just as much sense as Alex Jones' frog theory

To Be Fair, This Makes Just as Much Sense as Alex Jones’ Frog Theory

LONDON – This might come as a bit of a shock to a lot of folks in the sprawling, ideologically diverse, modern anti-porn movement, but the truth is, even those of us who make porn for a living don’t think it should be used as a form of sex education. Among other things, this is...
Posted On 10 May 2023
, By Ben Suroeste
Can we work on developing some natural intelligence, too?

How About We Try to Improve NI, While We’re at It?

Lately I’ve been reading a lot about recent advances in artificial intelligence (“AI”), some of which are starting to freak out even the sort of sci-fi addled academics and techie business-nerds who are supposed to love tinkering with things like creating machines vastly smarter...
Posted On 30 Mar 2023
, By Ben Suroeste
Porn Causes Mental Illness (in Government Officials)

Fact: Porn Causes Mental Illness (in Government Officials)

For years, I’ve been hearing anti-porn types make all sorts of claims about the deleterious effects of watching porn. To hear them tell it, porn does everything from shrinking people’s brains to murdering love itself. I’ve never been persuaded by their arguments, but to be fair,...
Posted On 16 Mar 2023
, By Ben Suroeste
awards statue

Angelina Blanca Captures 125 out of 127 Inaugural B.S. Awards

LAS VEGAS? – In an event recently held at an undisclosed location very possibly located somewhere near the Las Vegas Strip, adult mega-super-duper-star Angelina Blanca took home 125 of the 127 available trophies at the inaugural Ben Suroeste Awards (“BS Awards”), veteran adult...
Posted On 02 Mar 2023
, By Ben Suroeste
Senator Mike Lee, Utah, author of the Internet Obscenity Definition Act

Let’s Cut to the Chase, Senator Lee: Sponsor the NO FUN Act

WASHINGTON, D.C. – According to Mike Lee’s website, the Senator from Utah has “earned a reputation as an outstanding practitioner of the law based on his sound judgment, abilities in the courtroom, and thorough understanding of the Constitution.” I emphasize that last bit because...
Posted On 30 Dec 2022
, By Ben Suroeste
Pope

The Pope Has Spoken – And it’s the Same Old Sh*t

I know you’ve been on the edge of your seats waiting to hear from Pope Francis about his feelings regarding online pornography, so I’m happy to report the Vatican has published a new transcript of his compelling opinion on the matter. Please pay attention so that your souls don’t...
Posted On 10 Nov 2022
, By Alyssa
Ben Suroeste to virtually sign NFTs, or something

Fake Journalist to Virtually Sign NFTs at Bookstore, or Something

NEW YORK (OR MAYBE SAN FRANCISCO?) — Ben Suroeste, the adult industry’s premier fake journalist, multiple award-winning Sandwich Artist and certified Lack-of-Life Coach, may or may not be virtually signing his eponymous line of BS NFTs at “a big, fancy bookstore in New...
Posted On 26 Aug 2022
, By Ben Suroeste
Autoblow

Who Needs Human Touch When You Have Autoblow?

It’s finally happened! A man’s need for an actual human to get him off (and this includes his own hand) has become extinct with the invention of Autoblow – a male sex toy that is working to make it nearly impossible to tell the difference between its sweet robotic touch and a...
Posted On 11 Aug 2022
, By Alyssa
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