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//YNOT Features

2016 Christmas Release Lineup Takes Shape

LOS ANGELES – It’s December again, which means — in addition to worse-than-usual traffic and egregious playing of Christmas music at every shopping mall — ’tis the season for new Christmas porn releases from everybody’s favorite adult entertainment studios. Here’s a quick...
Posted On 14 Dec 2016
, By Ben Suroeste

Don’t Tread on My Right to Emotionally Destroy My Ex

By Steve Stylist Special To YNOT PORTLAND, Ore. – We’ve probably never met, but odds are pretty good you’ve seen my ex-girlfriend naked, on her knees, sucking my cock. I say the odds are pretty good because after she dumped me, I uploaded a bunch of homemade porno we made...
Posted On 13 Dec 2016
, By Ben Suroeste

I Can’t Wait to See the Posters

GLAMIS, Calif. – As I often do when brainstorming ideas to revolutionize the adult entertainment industry, I’ve sought a quiet place far from the hustle and bustle of Porn Valley to engage in some deep contemplation, consumption of idea-inspiring chemicals and comprehensively...
Posted On 12 Dec 2016
, By Ben Suroeste

Tila Tequila Now 4th on Neo-Nazi Porn Star Chart

HOLLYWOOD – On the heels of a massive marketing campaign designed to reemphasize her commitment to white nationalism, Tila Tequila has rocketed up the charts to become the web’s fourth most popular neo-Nazi porn performer, according to BuzzyMetrics, a California-based firm...
Posted On 09 Dec 2016
, By Ben Suroeste

German Spy Makes Gay Porn for ISIS

By Dewey Truman Special to YNOT DUSSELDORF, Germany – According to a translated copy of a German news article I read quickly on a tablet with a broken screen while walking briskly through Heathrow Airport, a German spy has been caught making gay porn for consumption by ISIS...
Posted On 08 Dec 2016
, By Ben Suroeste

Carpet Stains & Empty Beer Cans: Inside Gonzo Porn

LOS ANGELES – Inspired by a revealing, behind-the-scenes look inside the world of feminist porn, I’ve come to Los Angeles to provide a revealing, behind-the-scenes look at the world of extremely cheaply produced gonzo porn, guided by my trusty fuck-flick Sherpa, famed gonzo porn...
Posted On 07 Dec 2016
, By Ben Suroeste

Jenna Jameson Set for Bizarre Return to Porn

By Dewey Truman Special to YNOT TEL AVIV – Judging from reports published by the Israeli media, it seems former porn megastar Jenna Jameson is poised to make a return to adult entertainment — and to say her first co-star is an unexpected choice would be a major understatement. In...
Posted On 06 Dec 2016
, By Ben Suroeste

The New Threat to America: Sybians

WASHINGTON – With the world’s increasingly paranoid attention largely focused on ISIS, the rapid and troubling growth of another terrorist organization appears to have gone almost entirely unnoticed by both the American national security bureaucracy and the international media....
Posted On 05 Dec 2016
, By Ben Suroeste

Porn Studio Threatens Mexico Move

LOS ANGELES – Employing what the company’s chief executive officer called a “Carrier strategy,” adult studio Ergogenic Hardcore announced a plan to relocate its entire production, marketing, sales and customer service divisions to Mexico in hopes President-elect Donald J. Trump...
Posted On 02 Dec 2016
, By Ben Suroeste

The Great Porn Cover-Up is On at CNN

By Mathilda Malkin Special to YNOT BOSTON – Why anybody ever believes anything reported by CNN is beyond me, especially when the subject of the reporting is CNN itself. On Thanksgiving night, as was well-documented by a very reputable Twitter user who goes by the handle...
Posted On 01 Dec 2016
, By Ben Suroeste
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