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//Opinions

‘Panda Porn’: Do Pandas Suffer Erectile Dysfunction?

BERLIN – Leave it to the Germans to find a new use for porn — in this case, one that doesn’t even involve human viewers. Well, to be fair, the Germans got this porn idea from a Chinese fellow, so it’s not fair to pin this entirely on our funky friends in Deutschland. Be that as...
Posted On 16 Jun 2017
, By Ben Suroeste

Think Banning Porn Would Be Easy? Ask China

BEIJING – With all the legislative talk about porn being a “public health crisis,” some who work within the adult entertainment industry (and some who enjoy the products made by the industry, as well) are understandably nervous about the prospect of a government crackdown on...
Posted On 14 Jun 2017
, By GeneZorkin

‘Presidential Assassination Porn’: A Bridge Too Far?

NEW YORK – There are many things of which we Americans have grown tired over the years, like planking, watching professional athletes do the Nae Nae, endless parodies of/references to the well-trod “Got Milk?” ad campaign and some TV show called “2 Broke Girls” — which may or may...
Posted On 13 Jun 2017
, By Ben Suroeste

Politicians + Mischievous Friends = Rogue Porn

PROVIDENCE, R.I. – Since it seems everybody is offering predictions concerning the Trump administration these days (Trump may fire Sean Spicer and/or Jeff Sessions soon, he’ll be impeached any day now, the investigation into Russia will uncover nothing of substance, etc.), so I...
Posted On 12 Jun 2017
, By Ben Suroeste

Porn Can Do Better — and to Survive, It May Have to

LOS ANGELES – As much as I stand by the right of people who make and consume porn to think, write, depict and say a lot of things I personally find truly repulsive, there’s a difference between what people have the right to do and what it’s smart, wise or in the self-interest of...
Posted On 08 Jun 2017
, By GeneZorkin

Zoning: the Least-Level Playing Field Under the Law

NEW YORK – In a case that reaches back to the days of Mayor Rudolph Giuliani and his campaign to eliminate adult businesses from Times Square (among other places in the city), this week the New York State Court of Appeals upheld the city’s ban on adult businesses operating within...
Posted On 07 Jun 2017
, By GeneZorkin

Reminder: Porn Isn’t the Only Bad Stuff Online

MOSCOW – About 10 years ago, give or take, I participated in a panel discussion at an adult trade show when a man in the audience got worked up in a way I’ve rarely seen during one of these routine, generally tame Q&A sessions. In the middle of asking a leading question about...
Posted On 06 Jun 2017
, By Ben Suroeste

Stupid Porn-Watching Tricks, University of FL Edition

GAINESVILLE, Fla. – When former University of Florida deputy Title IX coordinator Chris Loschiavo was fired in 2016, the university initially justified his termination by claiming conflict of interest. This rationale was, as it turns out, somewhat less than half the story. The...
Posted On 05 Jun 2017
, By GeneZorkin

Pornosexual? Vibrosexual? Wankosexual? You Decide

GLENDORA, Calif. – If you study crime statistics, or any other statistics that track trends, you’ll quickly notice something undeniable: All trend lines start at zero, not because the events or actions they track never happened before, but because zero represents when tracking...
Posted On 02 Jun 2017
, By GeneZorkin

The Evolution Of a Politician’s Bullshit Excuse

ST. CATHARINES, Canada – If you ever find yourself employing lies to keep from getting into trouble, here’s an important tip to bear in mind: Whatever bullshit you float as you’re trying to wriggle your way off the hook, make sure it’s plausible bullshit. Another, related piece...
Posted On 01 Jun 2017
, By GeneZorkin
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