YNOT
  • Industry News
    • Adult Business News
    • Adult Novelty News
    • YNOT Magazine
    • EU News
    • Opinions
    • Picture Galleries
  • PR Wire
    • Adult Company News
    • Adult Retail News
    • Adult Talent News
    • Adult Videos News
  • Industry Guides
    • Adult Affiliate Guide
    • Affiliate Marketing for Beginners
    • Top Adult Traffic Networks
    • Top Adult PR Agents
    • Funding an Adult Business
  • Business Directory
    • View Categories
    • View Listings
    • Submit Listing
  • Newsletters
  • Login with YNOT ID

Porn Mags Still Serve a Purpose After All

Posted On 09 Nov 2017
By : Ben Suroeste

An Oklahoma-based porn consumer has conclusively demonstrated porn magazines are not entirely obsolete, especially if you’re planning to stab your neighbor.ADA, Okla. – In adult entertainment circles, it’s been fashionable for some time now to consider printed adult publications “dead,” or at best increasingly irrelevant, just another hard-product casualty of the digital age.

This may be so from the prospective of producers and publishers, but at least one Oklahoma-based porn consumer has conclusively demonstrated porn magazines are not entirely obsolete, especially if you’re planning to stab your neighbor.

Employing a quasi-erotic form of proactive self-protection, a resourceful fellow named Donald Gene Gaither girded his loins by layering them with porn magazines and duct tape before setting upon his neighbor Troy Bagley’s home with knives in hand.

Apparently, this was not a spur of the moment decision on Gaither’s part, but the climax of an ongoing dispute between the men.

“It had been brewing for two weeks,” said a neighbor, presumably not in reference to whatever it is growing in Gaither’s straggly beard.

Although clearly emboldened by his porn-reinforced midriff, Gaither wasn’t so confident as to think himself bulletproof.

“He appeared to be intoxicated somewhat, [but] he did comply with the officer when he ordered him to the ground – at gunpoint,” said Sheriff John Christian (which is a terrific name for a sheriff, by the way).  “And he was holding knives in both hands whenever the deputy confronted him.”

As for Gaither’s improvised body armor, Christian said the would-be assailant learned the technique in one of society’s best-established incubators for martial innovation.

“The suspect told him that he had been in prison before and that was a way that they used to protect theirselves in a fight,” Christian said.

Alas, the smutty-but-useful magazines were never put to the test, because Bagley took the coward’s way out, dialing 911 upon being confronted with the well-prepared Gaither standing on his porch and laying down the gauntlet by allegedly shrieking “Come out and get some!”

Presumably, the “some” to which Gaither referred was not pornographic material, but swift, violent retribution for Bagley getting him kicked out a local trailer park.

“Gaither thinks that Troy told his boss that he stole Copper out of this house, but Gaither says he didn’t, it’s here say,” explained an unidentified neighbor with a clear gift for confusing use of pronouns. It’s also possible the neighbor in question meant “hearsay” or even “heresy.” (To be fair to the good people from KXII-TV 12, it’s probably hard to tell when trying to decipher an Okie accent.)

In any event, Sheriff Christian said Bagley did the right thing in not taking the law (or a pair of knives, for that matter) into his own hands.

“[Bagley] says that he knew if he went outside someone could’ve possibly been killed,” Christian said, applauding Bagley’s firm grasp on the obvious implications of knife-fighting.

Gaither explained his knife-wielding and porn-magazine-wrapping as a function of being in “survival mode,” which is a lot like “Survivor mode,” only without a deserted island, a bunch of other douchebags and a CBS film crew.

As a consequence of his overly aggressive approach to dispute resolution, Gaither has been charged with “assault with a dangerous weapon” and “possession of an offensive weapon,” the latter of which seems unfair.

I think it’s a bit hasty to term the adult magazines in question “offensive” without knowing more about their specific nature. Was he wrapped in a publication that truly rises to the realm of indecently hardcore, like a particularly randy edition of Private, or are we talking about something significantly tamer, along the lines of a back issue of Gent?

I suppose those are questions for the judge to sort out. For Gaither’s sake, I hope he draws a jurist who’s sympathetic to the erotic arts.

 

About the Author
Ben Suroeste only reports "hard news" -- which is to say "news" that is "hard" to find anywhere else, mostly because he made it all up. He still doesn't have that fifty bucks he owes you, but he's working on it, OK?
  • google-share
Previous Story

TENGA Flex Stroker Combines Spiraled Ribbing, Suction

Next Story

Senate Committee Approves Mods to CDA’s ‘Safe Harbor’

Related Posts

Amalia Davis Has A ‘Chance Encounter’ at Private

Posted On 10 Oct 2025
, By newswire
Lady Bellatrix Launches “Femdom Royalty,” Quarterly Mag and Lifestyle Blog

Lady Bellatrix Launches “Femdom Royalty,” Quarterly Mag, Lifestyle Blog

Posted On 23 Sep 2025
, By GeneZorkin
In FSC v. Paxton Decision, Black Label Director Sees an “Assault on Freedom”

Black Label Magazine Announces Return to Regular Production in 2025

Posted On 14 Feb 2025
, By GeneZorkin

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Sponsor

YNOT Shoot Me

YNOTShootMe.com has exclusive pics from adult industry business events. Check it out!

YNOT Directory

  • Live Studio
    Webcam Studios
  • Hentaied
    Hentai & Anime
  • Tube Sites Submitter
    Software & Scripts
  • Premiere Listing

    PayOut Magazine

    More Details

RECENT

POPULAR

COMMENTS

Krystal Sparks Jetting to Jersey for EXXXOTICA

Posted On 17 Oct 2025

It’s All Love at EXXXOTICA NJ…Stephanie Love!

Posted On 17 Oct 2025

Jersey Girl Lauren Phillips Returns to Stomping Grounds for EXXXOTICA

Posted On 17 Oct 2025

Vanessa, Meet Vivid

Posted On 29 Sep 2014
Laila Mickelwaite and Exodus Cry

Laila Mickelwaite, Exodus Cry and their Crusade Against Porn

Posted On 03 May 2021

Someone puts Gal Gadot in one of your vids? Take it down!

Posted On 13 Dec 2017

Hoping viewers can also enjoy a spooky...

Posted On 24 Oct 2023

now a days these type of games will get...

Posted On 17 Jul 2023

good move from adent. these type of...

Posted On 06 Jul 2023

Sponsor

Sitemap
We use cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience on our website. If you continue to use this site we will assume that you are happy with it.