By Prudence Beecher
Special to YNOT

DALLAS – Sometimes you just have to take a stand, even if it means getting sued by a bunch of profiteering human traffickers wearing badly tailored suits.

The Dallas City Council took just such a stand this week, boldly voting to bar the Satan-spawned “Exxxotica Expo” from sullying the good name of the Kay Bailey Hutchinson Convention Center with its disgusting dildos, vile vibrators and women wearing thigh high-black boots while parading nude fat men across the room on all fours like a bunch of obese, sex-obsessed Rottweilers.

Naturally, because he hates America, democracy and especially children, the horrible man who operates this so-called “convention” whined like a stuck pig after the council rendered its sensible, righteous decision. Then, he went crawling to his lawyer’s office, naturally.

“We’ll walk straight out of here and into our lawyer’s office,” said J. Handy, a man so rotten and sinful and corrupt his own parents couldn’t bear to give him more than a single letter as a first name.

Thankfully, Mayor Mike Rawlings is no coward, so he’s not averse to spending hundreds of thousands of dollars of his constituents’ money to do battle with pornographers in a court of law. The pornographers will surely lose, so long as the case isn’t heard by some profoundly biased, anti-Jesus, liberal activist judge who secretly watches bestiality videos while alone in his chambers.

I’m sure a lot of marijuana-toking progressives will take to their bloggos and tweetergrams and Facebarks to cry foul over the council’s vote, claiming they have some sort of First Amendment right to abuse each other with whips and chains and cucumbers and whatever else floats their sex-slave boats, but since when is it “speech” to ram your fist up inside someone else’s butt?

These liberals are nothing but hypocrites, anyway. For example, back when the saintly George W. Bush administration was tying Muslim terrorists (or people who sincerely looked as though they could be Muslim terrorists, at least) to planks of wood and pouring a little bit of harmless water on their faces, the ACLU types were all moaning about how it was “torture” and a violation of the Geneva Conventions, but when we say they can’t do the same thing to each other while standing on a stage inside the Hutchinson Center, suddenly waterboarding is a matter of freedom of expression!

Well, what about the CIA’s First Amendment right to wallop the shit out of suspected terrorists with total impunity? I’ll bet you never thought about that, did you, all you Bill Maher wannabes?

Besides, when a convention center is named after you, I think you should get at least some say in how it is used — and clearly good ol’ Kay Bailey Hutchison wasn’t too keen on the thought of a bunch of perverts scurrying about inside her namesake wearing zippered masks and miniskirts that don’t even cover up their buns.

“I totally admire the leadership of the Mayor and those city council people who said if we have to litigate this issue, let’s do it, because it’s worth making it clear in the law that people who are coming here to gather to degrade women and children, and promotes activity that degrades other people, that they’re not welcome here,” said the esteemed former Texas senator.

As we celebrate the council’s bravery and unwavering commitment to those portions of state law and the U.S. Constitution that actually matter, we do need to recognize there are some disappointing aspects to this wonderful news.

First, the council’s vote was far from unanimous, coming in at 8-7. I can only assume this means the council has seven progressives and/or homosexuals among its ranks, which sends a cold chill down my spine.

Second, when given the opportunity to do the right thing and expose Exxxotica and its attendees as the criminals they are, Dallas Police Chief David Brown instead claimed his undercover officers saw no crimes being committed at last year’s Exxxotica, no corresponding increase in prostitution in the area and no violations of the state’s obscenity laws.

Obviously, Chief Brown came to the meeting to “testi-lie” as it’s called, because anybody with a lick of sense in their head knows the entire event is obscene and every woman who would come within a hundred yards of the expo (for any reason other than to protest its existence, naturally) is a prostitute!

I’m not going to let Chief Brown selling out to the porn industry get me down, though, because on Wednesday, the council sent a loud and clear message to the pornographers: Y’all are not welcome in the fine city of Dallas.

Once all the dust settles from the futile lawsuit Handy will soon file, I’m sure the Hutchison Center will be free from filth — and we’ll all be free to enjoy the events of actual, serious value that take place there every year, like Unleash the Power Within. That esteemed event is brought to you by Robbins Research International, a group that, unlike the detestable, criminal porn industry, has a completely spotless reputation.

Prudence Beecher is a devout Christian, mother of seven, needlework expert and anti-pornography activist from Anniston, Alabama. She is also the author of several fine e-books, including Only Whores Wear Makeup and the parenting guide Raising Difficult Sons: How to Shame Away the Gay.

Photo by Michael Barera