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//Top Features

Anti-Porn Truth, Sponsored By Fake Brain Pills

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Among the many articles published by right-wing news outlets about the National Center on Sexual Exploitation’s (NCSE) “Dirty Dozen list,” one caught my eye not for anything in the text of the article itself, but due to the spectacular advertising...
Posted On 06 Mar 2017
, By Ben Suroeste

MIMIC: Ergonomic, Colorful and Waterproof

CHATSWORTH, Calif. – New luxury pleasure product brand Clandestine Devices has launched its first intimate novelty, MIMIC, a clitoral massager for women. MIMIC’s handheld ergonomic design “took shape with the human form in mind,” said Director of Operations Kimberly Faubel, who...
Posted On 06 Mar 2017
, By Anna Cahnda

Vivid and 3X: The Reality of Adult Virtual Reality

In the fall of 2016, virtual reality adult content was just beginning to be taken seriously in the adult entertainment industry. Some online studios investigated the technology’s potential, but although they produced interesting content from a porn perspective, they struggled to...
Posted On 03 Mar 2017
, By Sue Denim

God Damn, It’s Good To Be Atheist

ENGLEWOOD, Colo. – One of the nice things about not believing in any God is I don’t have to sit around wondering whether any given thing I do pisses Him off, or reminds Him of something He finds abominable, or any of the other shit all those “God-fearing” people presumably walk...
Posted On 03 Mar 2017
, By Ben Suroeste

David Joseph Founds New Company, New Product

LOS ANGELES – What does a guy do after leading a porn studio into profitable infamy, then selling the studio and semi-retiring? If the guy is David Joseph, former owner of Red Light District, he founds another company in another adult industry segment. In Joseph’s case, the...
Posted On 03 Mar 2017
, By Anna Cahnda

Europe’s First Sex-Doll Brothel Opens in Barcelona

BARCELONA, Spain – While the online adult industry illuminati are attending The European Summit in Sitges, Spain, this weekend, perhaps they’ll find a bit of time to investigate the country’s contribution to “sex tourism”: the Lumidolls brothel. Like other courtesans, the...
Posted On 02 Mar 2017
, By Sue Denim

I Thought Conservatives Don’t Like ‘Nanny States’

WASHINGTON – Politics is so confusing sometimes, it makes me wonder why I even bother feeling guilty about not voting. (I’m kidding of course. I’ve never once felt guilty about not voting.) Over the past several years, the world of politics has been turned on its head, effecting...
Posted On 02 Mar 2017
, By Ben Suroeste

XR Brands Intros Four Self-Warming Massagers

HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif. – Heat, a new line of luxury vibrators, has debuted at award-winning manufacturer XR Brands. The collection comprises four body-safe silicone vibes: Fever, Flushed, Spark and Blaze. Within five minutes, each heats to a range of temperatures designed to...
Posted On 02 Mar 2017
, By Anna Cahnda

New Yorkers Asked ‘Who Said This: Trump or Porn?’

NEW YORK – A pair of wily comedians took to the streets of New York City recently to conduct “man on the street” interviews in the style of Jay Leno and Jimmy Kimmel. They asked a single question: “Is this quote from Donald Trump or porn?” The results were hilarious. The bit grew...
Posted On 01 Mar 2017
, By Marty O'Brien

How Should Federal Workers Waste Their Time?

WASHINGTON – Among many critics of “big government,” it’s a common practice to assert as established fact private entities operate more efficiently than their state-run counterparts. The government, we’re told, is a monument of inefficiency, waste and graft. There’s plenty of...
Posted On 01 Mar 2017
, By GeneZorkin
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