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//Home Page Features

GOP Doubles Down on Nanny-State Nonsense

CLEVELAND – If you thought things couldn’t get any loonier in the Republican Party, readjust your expectations. On Tuesday, the party’s platform and rules committees passed new planks that make 2012’s GOP agenda look liberal by comparison. The planks won’t be adopted officially...
Posted On 13 Jul 2016
, By Sue Denim

Historical Figures Respond to Porn Star Fantasies

NEW YORK – In response to a recent video in which various porn stars revealed which historical figures they’d like to fuck, several significant authors, politicians and scientists released statements today through respected necromancer Edward Johns, giving their perspective on...
Posted On 13 Jul 2016
, By Ben Suroeste

Topco Issues Invitation to Candid Conversation

LOS ANGELES – New Chief Operating Officer Autumn O’Bryan plans to take pleasure product manufacturer Topco Sales in what she calls a “unique direction.” As part of her strategy for implementing the process, she has invited customers and others to a candid conversation about the...
Posted On 13 Jul 2016
, By Anna Cahnda

6th Annual YNOT Awards Voting Begins

PRAGUE – We hold this truth to be self-evident: Not all awards are created equal. Some are endowed by the industry with the inalienable honor of respect from one’s peers. Now is the time to show that respect. Voting for the sixth annual YNOT Awards opened July 12 and will...
Posted On 12 Jul 2016
, By Sue Denim

Okamoto Mega Big Boy Condoms Now in U.S.

VISTA, Calif. – The demand for a new-to-the-U.S. condom is expected to be so … ahem … huge that the distributor is rationing the supply in order to meet what it believes will be unprecedented demand. Condom and lube specialty wholesaler Paradise Marketing has obtained the...
Posted On 12 Jul 2016
, By Anna Cahnda

Tucker Scott Named Studio Production Chief

LAS VEGAS – Next Door Studios has tapped five-year employee Tucker Scott to head the company’s productions. Scott will oversee the studio’s operations in Las Vegas. His responsibilities include casting, creative development, branding and marketing, and new products. In addition,...
Posted On 12 Jul 2016
, By G. Zisk Rice

What Male Porn Stars Really Think About Facials

CANOGA PARK, Calif. – In the latest installment of its “Ask A Smut-Star” Q&T&A series, adult entertainment studio Oak Missile asked a handful of male porn performers what they really think about “facials,” the variety of ejaculatory “money shot” in which the male...
Posted On 11 Jul 2016
, By Ben Suroeste

Paul Reutershan Tapped for Sales Exec Position

CHATSWORTH, Calif. – Diamond Products, corporate parent of Pipedream, Jimmyjane and Sir Richard’s, has added Paul Reutershan to its sales team. “When Pipedream offered me the opportunity to join the biggest and best organization in the industry, I jumped at the chance,” said...
Posted On 11 Jul 2016
, By Anna Cahnda

‘VR Porn Aggregate Site’ Launches

SAN FRANCISCO – GameLink has launched what the company believes to be the first “virtual reality porn aggregate” website. According to a company statement, a VR porn aggregate site contains material from many producers, unlike the current industry norm in which each studio...
Posted On 11 Jul 2016
, By Marty O'Brien

Introducing The Suroeste Omnibus Bill

WASHINGTON – With election season approaching, the entire country is getting ready to vote – not only to indicate which pathologically lying egomaniac we prefer to have occupying the White House for the next four years, but on all sorts of important ballot measures and...
Posted On 08 Jul 2016
, By Ben Suroeste
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