LOS ANGELES, Calif. – All we need now is a Hall of Justice style headquarters for all these Elegant Angel superheroines to hang out in. Seriously, who wouldn’t want to watch a Superfriends parody starring Tanya Tate as MILFWoman, Charlotte Sins as Slutwoman – and now, as the newly christened Titwoman, buxom beauty Hailey Rose?
Yes, that’s right – as the studio’s Superstar Summer rolls on, the latest Elegant Angel showcase is Hailey Rose is Titwoman, directed by Mad Creativity and Mr. White. Scenes from the film have been trickling out to Elegant Angel members this week, set to culminate with Hailey’s first blowbang. (Unfortunately, there’s no confirmation yet on the rumor I just started that one of the guys she blows is Lex Luthor.)
“I am so proud to be the next person to embody Titwoman,” Hailey said. “From my double vaginal penetration scene to the all-out nasty sloppy blowbang, I brought a whole lot of passion to every scene, and it was the perfect opportunity to show off the best of my skills.”
In the first scene, released Monday, Hailey is “joined by Female Performer of the Year winners Anna Claire Clouds and Jennifer White for a yoga-themed lesbian threesome,” hereby marking the first time I have felt any interest whatsoever in yoga.
Yesterday, Hailey was featured in “an enticing poolside solo” (here’s hoping it’s a harmonica solo!), as well as “a scorching hot encounter with Isiah Maxwell.”
Next in the lineup is a scene between Hailey and her real-life partner, Max Fills, whose name would work pretty well in a supervillain context, if you ask me. It could also work as Robin to Hailey’s Batman, although I think her sidekick character really ought to have a breast-related name, like “Boob Boy” or “Mammary Man” or maybe “Gazonga Geezer” if they cast a DILF in the role. In any event, Max brings his buddy Alex Mack along for the ride and the two of them deliver Hailley’s first “studio-produced double pussy penetration scene,” which “ignites with authentic chemistry,” hopefully not leaving Hailey, Boob Boy and/or Gazonga Geezer with any serious burns.
Finally, Hailey will head to the club for “an intense blowbang that leaves her covered in 10 loads.” Whatever the superhero backstory on this scene is, presumably it involves collecting human semen to save the people of some distant planet, or perhaps Baltimore.
“We already knew Hailey Rose had amazing tits, so naturally she is a perfect candidate for Titwoman,” Mr. White noted, “but is she slutty enough? She answers that question in this amazing blowing! This scene was an absolute joy to shoot. Hailey takes control of the scene and sucks the souls out of ten guys, using just her mouth and her tits; this scene gets super dirty and sloppy. Haley earns all ten loads and the title of Titwoman!”
I’m relieved to hear that the award of honorariums like Titwoman is merit-based and not simply a popularity contest, or some pornographic version of DEI, which of course stands for “Double Ejaculation Imitation” and is the bane of authentic cumshot fans the world over.
“Hailey Rose is a show-stopping talent that has undeniable charisma, and it was an honor to be a part of her exploration into her sexuality in her latest showcase feature for Elegant Angel,” said Mad Creativity – who honestly doesn’t sound that angry to me. “Titwoman is an iconic brand, and Hailey fits it perfectly. She gave her all to the three scenes I directed, and I can’t wait for the fans to watch as each scene gets wilder and wilder.”
Hailey Rose is Titwoman is available now on ElegantAngel.com. The full movie will be released to VOD platforms tomorrow, August 27, with a DVD to follow.
