PHOENIX – When Sen. Jeff Flake announced he will not seek reelection at the end of his current term, many saw the news as an opportunity for other Arizona Republicans to swoop in and snare Flake’s seat.
Prior to Flake’s announcement, some GOP strategists had begun to fear the seat was the Democrat’s for the taking, given Flake’s flagging poll numbers and the narrow appeal of his likely primary challenger, Kelli Ward (AKA “Chemtrail Kelli”).
“The field as it currently stood was a definitive loser, whether it was Flake or Ward at the top of the ticket,” one Arizona GOP operative told TheHill.com following Flake’s announcement. “This seat was history and it was hello Sen. Sinema” — an apparent reference to a possible Democratic nominee for the seat, current Rep. Kyrsten Sinema.
Among the names nobody mentioned to The Hill as possible contenders is one that may ring familiar to those who follow porn industry news –- or, more accurately, those who follow revenge-porn industry news.
Yes, that’s right: nobody’s favorite internet troll, the illustrious Craig Brittain, is running for Senate.
“Craig R. Brittain is a technology entrepreneur, election influencer free speech activist, journalist and CEO,” states Brittain’s campaign bio [all mis-punctuation in original]. “He was also influential in analyzing the Wikileaks Podesta Email [stet] leaks, with many mainstream outlets citing his analysis as exceptional and thought-provoking.”
Many mainstream outlets cited his analysis as exceptional and thought-provoking, eh? What a pity it didn’t occur to him to link to any of those citations.
Exceptional though it may be, Brittain’s bio leaves out a few of his other impressive credentials, accomplishments and commendations, including his thought-provoking 2015 settlement with the FTC.
To be fair, I suppose “This behavior is not only illegal but reprehensible” wouldn’t make the greatest pull-quote to put in a campaign flier about a candidate’s past actions, even if it did come from someone as prominent as the director of the FTC’s Bureau of Consumer Protection.
To hear Brittain tell it, though, the whole FTC settlement concerning his prior reprehensible behavior is no impediment to him being elected to public office.
“The allegation is fake news and my supporters don’t care,” Brittain tweeted in response to someone who posted a link to the FTC settlement.
https://twitter.com/SenatorBrittain/status/922253269300158464
Besides, it really won’t matter once he’s Senator Brittain, because the FTC is “an unconstitutional far-left partisan organization” and just “one of many 3-letter groups I will abolish as US Senator.”
I’ll bet you didn’t know US Senators have unchecked unilateral power to abolish federal agencies and commissions, did you? Don’t feel too bad. None of the past politicians who vowed to disband government entities of which they didn’t approve ever quite figured out how to remove the damn things, either, so it would appear Brittain is the first to have solved the mystery.
While his name doesn’t appear in any of the early polling numbers concerning the race to fill Flake’s seat, Brittain thinks those numbers can be improved simply by changing “undecided” to “Brittain” in the graphics depicting the polling results.
“That is based on my belief that all undecided voters in polls that omit my name are voting for me,” Brittain told The Phoenix New Times when asked about the polling graphic he tweeted. “They aren’t undecided, they want to pick my name but it isn’t on these broken polls. Every undecided is really voting for me.”
As for why more voters haven’t heard about Brittain’s revolutionary, Trump-inspired run for Senate, that’s easy: One of his opponents is proactively fixing the race against him in the most insidious of ways.
“The only reason anyone is talking about Ward is because she paid off the mainstream press to avoid talking about my campaign,” Brittain tweeted on Oct. 27.
https://twitter.com/SenatorBrittain/status/924045592187174913
Of course, Ward isn’t just paying people not to talk about Brittain; she’s also paying them to support her, albeit with limited success.
“CoWard lackeys refuse to disclose their paid support, very sad,” Brittain tweeted on Nov. 1. “She has to buy votes, and still she can only get 26%.”
https://twitter.com/SenatorBrittain/status/925770043815731200
He’s got a point, you know. I mean, why bother buying 26 percent of the votes when you can just use Photoshop to get 28 percent?
Other than his fake endorsement from Trump (“One of my staffers posted that as a joke,” he said), by far the best “endorsement” of Brittain came before he’d even announced his campaign for Flake’s soon-to-be vacated seat.
“To the extent that Craig’s continued existence as Craig is not the most brutal consequence a cold universe can inflict upon him,” wrote attorney/blogger Ken “Popehat” White in April, “Craig will encounter justice sooner or later.”
Image via Facebook.
