MIAMI, Fla. – According to a press release that landed in my inbox this morning, Brandi Swan has made her debut on Holed.com in “Realtor’s Back Door,” a scene that also stars – and I swear I’m not making this up – Zeus.
Far be it from me to tell a young rising star how to manage her career, but the last time Zeus and a swan were involved in the same story, things got… complicated. Granted, in the context of that story, Zeus was the swan, so maybe things will work out just fine for Brandi.
“I wanted to make the party start in South Beach with more than just a bang,” Brandi said of her debut scene for the site. “You have to do something big when it comes to Holed.com. I want to thank them so much for making one of my real-life fantasies come true. I have always wanted to get all of my holes filled with Holes.com, and they did an amazing job doing so. I can’t wait to come back. Let’s go party, people!”
“Lust and luxury await at this ‘open house’ in the XXX realty world of fantasy that is Brandi Swan’s debut, which she hopes leads to a closed sale, but not before all her holes are filled to see if she can drive ‘up’ the buying price with this potential purchaser,” Brandi’s publicity reps said in describing the scene. “That is why the powers that be cast the true-to-life ‘He-Man’ Zeus. Talk about a master of the universe, and this luscious encounter begins with an explosive session of oral that contains Brandi’s patented sweetie pie smile, spit, and spunk.”
But that is “just the beginning,” Brandi’s reps proclaimed.
“Can this property be sold by Brandi, opening up another of her holes in the bedroom? The anal on display here is the prime example of why this Coxxx Model’s newbie is considered by industry critics as the favorite to take home a best new starlet nomination come January.”
While that all sounds great, I doubt Brandi Swan’s performance with Zeus will lead to as many literary references or artistic depictions as Leda’s encounter with Zeus in swan form, which is a shame, because I think Brandi would look great rendered as in classical style on an oil lamp, for example.
In any event, Brandi Swan’s Holed debut is available now on Holed.com. (Tell ‘em Hera sent you.)
