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//YNOT WTF!

A Date? Where’s My Million Bucks?

By Brad Kellen Special to YNOT                                     GULFPORT, Miss. – Unless you’re a fan of the University of Mississippi-Gulfport Fightin’ Chickadees football team, my name is probably only familiar to you because of my unsuccessful romantic overtures toward...
Posted On 20 Oct 2016
, By Ben Suroeste

Note from Smart Fridge: No Porn, Please

By ModUb2 Special to YNOT LEXINGTON, Tenn. – Hello. My name is Model RF22K9581SG/AA, Unit 7341b2 (“ModUb2” for short) and I’m a home appliance of the sort people have taken to calling a “smart fridge.” To most people, a smart fridge is just a refrigerator connected to the...
Posted On 17 Oct 2016
, By Ben Suroeste

7 Surprising Habits of Men Who Watch Porn

AUSTIN, Texas – In light of a recent article that revealed several surprising habits of women who watch porn, I sat down with an informal focus group of men whose participation I secured by offering to give each of them a pack of cigarettes, a bottle of Thunderbird, and/or one of...
Posted On 14 Oct 2016
, By Ben Suroeste

Fat, Ugly, Ungrateful Cows Ruined My Life

By Roger Beals Special to YNOT NEW YORK – As you may know, prior to becoming a valuable consultant to the campaign of a certain brilliant business mogul currently running for President of the United States, I was the chairman and chief executive officer of the Ferret News...
Posted On 13 Oct 2016
, By Ben Suroeste

Porn Made Me Do It, Too

By Wayne Ted Jeffries Special to YNOT LAFOURCHE PARISH, La. – As a serial killer serving a life sentence with no prospect for parole, and for whom the usual exercise and recreation options for inmates are strictly forbidden, I’ve had little choice than to become an avid reader in...
Posted On 12 Oct 2016
, By Ben Suroeste

Porn Job Offer Publicity Stunt Market Booming

LOS ANGELES – While much of the online adult entertainment industry is struggling by comparison to the salad days of the late 1990s and early aughts, analysts say one industry sector continues to be a growth market: offering jobs in porn to famous people, no matter how fleeting...
Posted On 11 Oct 2016
, By Ben Suroeste

Web Surfing was Proper Because Porn is WMD

By Bill Fairbanks Special to YNOT WASHINGTON – As the great Alexander Pope once wrote “a little learning is a dangerous thing.” Nowhere is a small degree of information more dangerous than when it finds its way into the mercurial, capricious hands of a journalist, where facts and...
Posted On 10 Oct 2016
, By Ben Suroeste

Duke Is ‘Most Famous’ For WHAT?

By Coach K Special to YNOT DURHAM, N.C. – When you’re part of a major university that has experienced a great deal of success and achieved many outstanding things, you accept as part of the territory there will always be those whose jealousy and envy has lead them to resent you...
Posted On 07 Oct 2016
, By Ben Suroeste

Media ‘Uncovers’ Trump Tapes

ATLANTA – In an amazing piece of investigative reporting work that required writing at least one email and/or a phone call, several media outlets have “uncovered” well-known old Playboy videos featuring GOP presidential nominee Donald Trump. Mercifully, Trump appears strictly in...
Posted On 06 Oct 2016
, By Ben Suroeste

Make No Mistake: It Was The Filter’s Fault

By Elmer Andrew Special to YNOT NOGALES, Ariz. – If you’re a Gizmodo reader, you might have seen a recent article mocking a brave member of the U.S. Border Patrol (USBP) over watching porn at work and subsequently blaming his inappropriate access of adult websites on the...
Posted On 30 Sep 2016
, By Ben Suroeste
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