Decades after he originally sang them, musical satirist Tom Lehrer’s words still might be the best underlining of the preposterousness of laws prohibiting “obscene” depictions and descriptions:

All books can be indecent books, though recent books are bolder, for filth (I’m glad to say) is in the mind of the beholder. When correctly viewed, everything is lewd. I could tell you things about Peter Pan — and the Wizard of Oz, there’s a dirty old man!

These lyrics appear in Lehrer’s “Smut” – a pre-Miller Test classic that somehow feels as timely now as it did in the 1960s, thanks in large part to the antediluvian proclivities of certain elected officials around the country, who have been busily finding reasons to exclude books from school and/or public libraries.

A recent Twitter thread started by independent journalist Judd Legum homes in on book banning efforts in Florida, specifically, and reveals something about the allegedly “pornographic” content of those books that is as ludicrous and depressing as it is predictable.

1. On March 8, @RonDeSantisFL held a press conference & insisted Florida wasn't banning books, it was simply removing PORN

He based it on a survey of 23 school districts

But the survey was kept secret

Until now

The books Florida is banning as "PORN" is absolutely wild

🧵

— Judd Legum (@JuddLegum) May 8, 2023

Noting that Duval County, Florida has banned “House and Homes” by Ann Morris as “porn,” Legum describes the book as “a series of photographs illustrating different kids of homes around the world.”

“A Florida school district has decided this book is pornographic and adults that provide it anyone under 18 would be committing a felony,” Legum writes. “That’s because, on a couple of pages, the photos capture a child’s naked buttocks.”

Honestly, you might have a better argument that some of the works referenced in Lehrer’s song are pornographic in nature than “House and Homes,” which sounds roughly as pornographic as some of my older copies of National Geographic magazine.

Other books highlighted in Legum’s thread have “no sexual content or nudity whatsoever” – something I suspect most fans of “porn” would strongly object to, if it truly was a work of adult entertainment.

Of course, the point of these book bans and the hubbub surrounding them isn’t to solve a problem with porn in school or public libraries. The point is to get socially conservative voters – and parents of young children among social conservatives, in particular – fired up and motivated to vote for the likes of Florida Governor Ron DeSantis.

“Exposing the ‘book ban’ hoax is important because it reveals that some are attempting to use our schools for indoctrination,” DeSantis said in a statement released in March. “In Florida, pornographic and inappropriate materials that have been snuck into our classrooms and libraries to sexualize our students violate our state education standards. Florida is the education state and that means providing students with a quality education free from sexualization and harmful materials that are not age appropriate.”

As Legum notes in his Twitter thread (and in a long form article you can read here), when DeSantis talks about “pornographic and inappropriate materials that have been snuck into our classrooms and libraries to sexualize our students,” he’s talking about books like those at issue in Legum’s thread.

I strongly suspect some most of the outraged parents know these are the sort of book DeSantis was referencing in his press statement. In fact, they might even be among the people who flagged books like “House and Homes” as problematic in the first place. I also suspect, however, that many other folks who currently have their undies in a twist over this issue are unaware that the phrase “undies in a twist” is more explicit than some of the books about which they’re upset.

Perhaps those who favor banning books like “House and Homes” should take a queue from their own online rhetoric and ‘do their own research’ on these books, rather than take elected officials like DeSantis at their word. But the rest of us would be wise not to hold our breath waiting for that to happen.

Photo of man reading book by Dayan Rodio from Pexels