CANOGA PARK, Calif. – In the latest installment of its “Ask A Smut-Star” Q&T&A series, adult entertainment studio Oak Missile asked a handful of male porn performers what they really think about “facials,” the variety of ejaculatory “money shot” in which the male performer deposits his semen upon the face of his female partner(s).

While it is often assumed the facial is something male porn stars love to do and female porn stars tolerate because their contract requires it, you might be surprised by some of the feedback offered by the porn studs and stunt cocks quoted below.

Rick Rigid
When I first started working in porn, I was really looking forward to doing my first facial. I didn’t jerk off for like two weeks before shooting the scene, because I was determined to have a really big load built up for my first big on-screen explosion.

As the big moment approached, though, I began to experience a lot of anxiety. What if I barely shoot anything out? What if I shoot plenty, but totally miss her face and get a bunch of spunk all over the nice carpet of the mansion the producer had rented out without telling its owner we were going to be filming Open Up and Say ‘Ahhh Yes Please God Cum in My Mouth!’ Vol. 37?

It all worked out OK, but honestly, I’ve never gotten over my nervousness when it comes to doing pop-shots. Unfortunately, my anxiousness always impacts my partners, too. Every scene, we’re both a big ball of frayed nerves — right up until the moment I release a big string of goo all over my co-star’s relieved face.

Evan Polyurethane
A lot of people think of facial cumshots as being degrading and demeaning to women, but I don’t see them that way at all. To me, cumming on a woman’s face is the ultimate act of dedication and respect.

The egg gets all the credit, but if you think about it, the sperm is really the root of life. Without the sperm, the egg is just a lonely old bitch waiting to be expelled from a woman’s body without having served its purpose, while sperm serves many purposes — including, as it turns out, being the perfect artistic flare with which to end any and every erotic art sequence.

Since sperm is the source of life, when I ejaculate all over a woman’s face, what I’m saying is, “My beloved, I hereby give you this life, this crucial body-energy. Take it with joy and happiness, you delightful, empowered, intelligent, deeply cherished little cum-sucking whore.”

This is why “cum-dodging” is so unforgiveable to me. I can only make so many loads of life-giving cum in a single day, and you’re going to squander it by moving your head and allowing my seed to spill on the ground, like it doesn’t matter? Like my semen didn’t have dreams? It’s just so disrespectful.

Jerry Attrick
When I first got into the business back in the ’60s, they wouldn’t even let us cum for real on camera. We just made a bunch of ugly faces, cried out “Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh God, Yeaaaaahhhh,” and then they’d cut to us lying next to the girl smoking a cigarette.

Honestly, the first time a director told me I was supposed to cum on a girl’s face at the end of a scene, I thought he was joking. I was like, “Oh sure, Al. Then I’ll just slap her a couple times and piss in her hair for good measure.” But he wasn’t kidding, and we did the scene and porn history changed forever in a single spurt.

Sometimes I wonder if I’d cum on her back instead, would the internet be filled with hour after hour of “spinal” cumshot videos? Probably not, right?

Scotty Stiff
As an “internet kid” who didn’t get into the porn business until a few years ago, I was pretty much raised on facials. While a lot of other guys my age wanted to grow up to be like Tom Brady or LeBron James, my big idol was Peter North. I’d watch his videos and think “Someday, that’s going be my cum irritating her eyeball.”

What I didn’t realize back then was how much work went into cumming like that. I mean, even Peter North didn’t always spew like a freaking firehose. He had to practice for hours, train at the gym just as hard as he did in the bathroom and manage his diet to maximize his ejaculatory potential.

When I first got started, I thought this job was going to be a piece of cake. You just show up on the set, fuck someone silly and then shoot a big load straight betwixt her eyes. What I’ve learned since then is porn isn’t a job, it’s a discipline.

You know what they say: Cum hard, or don’t cum at all.