Over the past two weeks, sexual misconduct scandals have called out mainstream celebrities like Hollywood producers Harvey Weinstein and James Tobak, right-wing pundit and former Fox News golden boy Bill O’Reilly, journalist Mark Halperin, former President George H.W. Bush and Academy-Award-winning actor Kevin Spacey. Some have admitted their “mistakes” and apologized; others have apologized for “mistakes” they say they don’t remember making. Still others claim innocence, even though they paid off their accusers.
And then there’s the man who currently occupies the Oval Office, who claims glorifying sexual assault, saying women “let him do whatever he wants” because he’s wealthy and powerful, is “locker room talk.” A healthy portion of the American public has given him a pass on criminal behavior because he a) is wealthy and powerful and b) reduced his justification for heinous actions to nothing more than a shrug and “boys will be boys.”
On Monday, Twitter reported more than 1.7 million men and women in 85 countries have used the hashtag #MeToo, taking a stand against sexual harassment and sexual assault. Women and men from all walks of life have come out on Twitter to say they’ve been the target of some kind of sexual aggression. For the time being, at least, the conversation has risen above the level of “she was asking for it; she was wearing a short skirt.”
That is, unless the conversation turns to sex workers. Evidently, when sex workers enter a career requiring them to use their bodies in ways of which society doesn’t approve, they give up all right to expect basic human dignity and respect. They give up all right to say “no” to the foulest, most personal, most psychologically scarring violence humans commit against humans.
They become nothing more than the “cumbuckets” too many adult content producers are too proud to claim their products feature.
“Stigma, doubt and shame keep those who endure assault and harassment from first coming forward with their stories, and then again from being believed,” the Free Speech Coalition noted in a statement the group issued Tuesday. “In a society that routinely disregards the voices and experiences of sex workers, stories told by adult performers face added hurdles.
“Just because an adult performer makes a living with their body does not mean anyone — not a co-star, not a colleague, not a lover, not a fan, not a director, not an agent, not a doctor — has any right to it that the performer doesn’t grant freely and enthusiastically,” the statement continued. “No one waives their right to consent just because they’ve worked in adult film or have appeared naked or are eager to book a shoot or have contracted to do a film or had sex with someone previously or work in a sex-related industry. To assume otherwise is not only wrong, it’s criminal.”
All of that is true, yet we continue hear excuses from both predators and enablers: “I was just having a little fun,” “S/he wanted it,” “S/he didn’t say no,” “It’s part of the job,” “It wasn’t a big deal.”
Last year, several female performers of significant status accused a high-profile male porn performer of sexual assault onstage and off. He had been accused of the same crimes in 2015. One of his accusers took her life in April 2016, and suspicion persists that the alleged assault — and the resulting backlash against the alleged victim, not the alleged perpetrator — figured into her decision. She was 31.
The male performer may not have committed the acts of which he was accused. He was never charged with any crime — and make no mistake, sexual assault of any kind is a crime. The matter never moved beyond “he said, she said.” But while the controversy swirled, it revealed some ugly divisions within the adult entertainment community, largely along gender lines. In my own circle of professional acquaintances and friends, men were far more likely to discount the women’s claims, couching their rationalization in terms like “histrionics,” “attention-seeking” and even “bitchiness.”
“Because of the social stigma associated with sex work, it’s even more important for us to listen to those who do come forward, risking ridicule and reputation,” the FSC noted in its statement. “We have to support those who speak out and be willing to take action to stop it from happening again… Those who turn a blind eye or rationalize non-consensual behavior enable those assaults.”
It’s long past time for the #MeToo discussion. It’s long past time we quit excusing criminal behavior as something victims solicited or predators “didn’t mean any harm” by committing.
It’s long past time men and women quit pretending sexual predation isn’t an epidemic that’s completely within our power to cure.
