HERMOSA BEACH, Calif. – A porn performer who has proudly declared her support for Donald Trump held a press conference today at The Hermosa Fun Farm, a Hermosa Beach-based “retro” videogame arcade, to announce the establishment of her own Super PAC to benefit Trump’s campaign.
“Today marks the beginning of a digital grassroots movement to elect a leader who will restore America to greatness,” said Jenna Cames, star of such runaway pornographic hits as Let Me Lick Your Lesbian Ass Vol. #71. “What begins today with the deposit of a single quarter will soon result in a torrent of much-needed financial support for Mr. Trump’s campaign.”
Evidently somewhat confused about how Super PACs are and how they work, Cames then sat down at one of the arcade’s vintage Super Pac-Man machines, inserted a quarter and proceeded to play.
While Cames declined to respond as she played, she did address questions about her #GoGoGoTrump Super Pac following a marathon 14-game session.
“Sure, it’s just $3.50, but every little bit counts,” Cames said, gesturing toward the Super Pac-Man machine. “If every American of voting age were to play even one game, I’m pretty sure we could fund building a big, beautiful wall along our nation’s southern border without having to rely on Mexico, who I’m sure long ago maxed out their national credit card buying tortilla chips and sombreros, or something.”
Several bystanders and journalists in attendance tried to explain to Cames there was no connection between Super PACs and Super Pac-Man, but the intrepid young star ignored them, instead staying focused on her political message in disciplined fashion.
“Mr. Trump is going to win in November because liberals and progressives are just like Blinky, Pinky, Inky and Clyde,” Cames said. “If you’re just an average American citizen, they will chase you around threatening you and acting tough, but when they come upon someone who has eaten his power pellets, which Mr. Trump clearly has, they turn tail and run like the headless chickens they are.”
Pressed for details on her Pac-metaphor, Cames was asked what the analogy would be for Trump running out of power pellets, or the point in time when the power pellet inevitably expires and the liberal “ghost” becomes dangerous again.
“All Mr. Trump does is win,” Cames said. “When it comes to Donald, clearly every pellet is a power pellet.”
When a reporter again tried to note the many significant differences between playing a video game (the proceeds of which are presumably banked by the arcade in which it is housed) and operating a political action committee, Cames interrupted and began to lambast the assembled media for its “obvious pro-Clinton bias.”
“I can’t help but notice none of you gave Crooked Hillary a hard time about the videogames people play to raise money for her, but now you’re all suddenly anti-Super-Pac-Man due to the game’s association with someone who is pro-Trump,” Cames said. “I find this sexist, racist, class-ist and totally xenophobic. I mean that literally, by the way: I sincerely believe all you media people are irrationally afraid of warrior-princesses.”
Asked to comment on her activism, fellow porn performer and Green Party supporter Ralph Nuder mocked Cames for her “painful cluelessness.”
“She seriously thinks she’s going to raise enough money to build the wall by playing Super Pac-Man? What an idiot,” Nuder said, shaking his head. “If she were really serious about politics, she would have gone with a better game — like I am through my vastly superior Joust-For-Jill Super PAC.”
