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YNOT WTF: Sometimes even serious people need a good laugh.

Tila Tequila Now 4th on Neo-Nazi Porn Star Chart

Posted On 09 Dec 2016
By : Ben Suroeste

Tila Tequila as Hitler (via Twitter)HOLLYWOOD – On the heels of a massive marketing campaign designed to reemphasize her commitment to white nationalism, Tila Tequila has rocketed up the charts to become the web’s fourth most popular neo-Nazi porn performer, according to BuzzyMetrics, a California-based firm that tracks celebrity popularity trends.

“Tila has been very popular among white supremacist porn viewers for some time now, but the photos she posted of herself doing a Nazi salute at the recent National Policy Institute summit in Washington appears to have put her over the top,” said Nancy O’Dour, chief analyst for BuzzyMetrics. “She’s now easily the most popular Asian white supremacist porn star in history, in addition to being the fourth most popular neo-Nazi performer on our current tracking charts.”

Other outlets have reported an uptick in Tequila-related porn searches as well, leading industry observers to wonder if declaring oneself to be a Nazi sympathizer could become a trend among porn performers seeking to increase their profile and juice up their social media followings.

“There are two things we know about the porn industry which suggest Tequila might become a trendsetter with her vocal antisemitism and embrace of the Nazi ideology,” said Tommy Lobsterbush, co-founder and chief market analyst for Cypress Research. “First, people in the porn industry will do virtually anything to get attention. Second, if something works for one person in the porn industry, at least 5,000 others in the industry will immediately copy it, hoping for the same measure of success. I’d say give it a week, and half the porn industry will be wearing swastikas and/or claiming to firmly believe the Earth is flat.”

According to BuzzyMetrics, the performer displaced by Tequila’s rapid rise up the charts is former fourth-place holder Henrietta Heinlicher. Heinlicher was unsparing in her criticism of Tequila, decrying her as an “Asian-American fraud” and “Nazi-come-lately dilettante.”

“This filthy Thai whore has no valid claim to being any sort or manner of representation of true Aryan pornographic perfection,” said Heinlicher. “Her presence on the neo-Nazi performer popularity chart is an affront to all the real, honest, hardworking neo-Nazi porn stars like myself. Any fan who masturbates to her videos should know in doing so, they are aiding the global Zionist conspiracy to remove all white, non-Jewish women from porn — a movement that is, of course, being driven by Joanna Angel.”

While O’Dour said the marketing momentum Tequila has established in recent days could propel her all the way to the top of the charts, the three performers currently topping the list said they’re not concerned about the possibility of being overtaken.

“I don’t think she should even count as a porn performer at this point,” said Josephina Koch-Goebbelar, who currently sits in the third spot on the chart. “She hasn’t released a porn movie since 2013, after all, while I’ve filmed over 900 scenes in that time, including my award-winning appearance in Triumph of the Spill last year, so it’s really no contest between the two of us.”

Making matters more difficult for Tequila, the current top two neo-Nazi performers are on the cusp of releasing a collaborative new feature in which they have sex with each other for the first time. It’s a much-anticipated scene for which neo-Nazi porn fans have long been “waiting with race-baited breath,” according to the film’s director, Lenny Reefandstall.

“When fans see the glorious Aryan rimjob I give Eva Brauneye in the third scene of Whatever Floats Your U-Boat, they will forget all about this Tila person,” said Barbie Klaus, the current chart-topping neo-Nazi performer. “And if that scene doesn’t do the trick, then the ‘human swastika’ lesbian daisy-chain shot in the closing sequence certainly will.”

 

Image via Twitter (now deleted).

About the Author
Ben Suroeste only reports "hard news" -- which is to say "news" that is "hard" to find anywhere else, mostly because he made it all up. He still doesn't have that fifty bucks he owes you, but he's working on it, OK?
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