By Mathilda Malkin
Special to YNOT

BOSTON – Why anybody ever believes anything reported by CNN is beyond me, especially when the subject of the reporting is CNN itself.

On Thanksgiving night, as was well-documented by a very reputable Twitter user who goes by the handle @Solikearose, CNN “accidentally” aired porn for 30 minutes on Thanksgiving night instead of a scheduled broadcast of Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown. (That program sounds like a show featuring a man who isn’t sure what his penis is, but it’s somehow about food, or maybe travel, or maybe travelling food. I don’t know which, because I don’t watch liberal propaganda outlets like CNN.)

Initially, CNN tried to blame the whole thing on its Boston affiliate, RCN, before later going into full denial mode.

“Despite media reports to the contrary, RCN assures us that there was no interruption of CNN’s programming in the Boston area last night,” claimed CNN spokeswoman Barbara Levin.

End of story, right? An open and shut case of fake news based on the false claims of a Twitter troll?

Not so fast, folks. There’s more to this story than meets the eye.

First, let’s look at the last name of the CNN spokesperson issuing the denial: “Levin.” Do you know who else has the last name Levin? Carl Levin, the recently retired U.S. senator from Michigan. What else do we know about Michigan? Well, it was among the so-called “swing states” unexpectedly won by Donald Trump in the election. Who didn’t want Trump to win Michigan? You guessed it: CNN.

If you consider all these facts side by side, it’s quite clear what’s going on here: CNN is trying to discredit Trump’s pledge to combat porn by market-testing the broadcast of hardcore porn in major American cities. Just as obviously, the sinister intent here is desensitizing Americans to pornography to such an extent, people across the country will resist Trump’s impending efforts to clean up the internet.

Just as CNN completely misread the American electorate and found itself embarrassed when all its predictions of a Hillary Clinton presidency didn’t come to pass, the intense blowback of its Boston porn market-test driven by @Solikearose’s brave, courageous, vigilant, righteously-conservative tweet has the news network tucking its tail between its legs just to cover its big, fat, lying, progressive ass.

It’s to be expected CNN would deny it broadcast porn on Thanksgiving, now that the experiment has gone south. Had the response in Boston been more favorable, I’m sure we would have seen similar experiments in other markets. Before long, doubtlessly we’d have been presented with glory hole videos instead of Wolf Blitzer in the Situation Room, or maybe instead of Erin Burnett OutFront, we’d get Asa Akira UpInThere.

The second major clue suggesting CNN is lying in its denial is downright obvious when you parse Levin’s statement carefully. It should be noted Levin didn’t say CNN didn’t experience any broadcast interruptions at all, or even that they’ve never broadcast porn in the market in question. All she said was there was “no interruption … in the Boston area last night.”

Well Barbara, what about nights other than Thanksgiving? How do you define the “Boston area,” exactly? If it turns out @Solikearose lives in Framingham does the denial stand, or is there some wiggle room hiding within this carefully constructed bit of CNN spin-doctoring?

I’m not going to hold my breath waiting for an answer, of course, because I know it would merely be another liberal lie, just like all of CNN’s other reporting.

The last bit of proof I’ll cite in revealing CNN’s big porn lie comes from Germany, courtesy of deStandard.at, and the evidence which shoots a massive hole in CNN’s pathetic denial.

“Weder CNN noch der Kabelbetreiber fanden Hinweise dafür, dass ein Porno anstelle des geplanten Programms ausgestrahlt wurde,” reported deStandard. According to my trusty research assistant, Roger Stone, this translates to “Chelsea Clinton’s real father is Keith Olbermann and CNN definitely, absolutely, 100-percent for sure did broadcast hardcore porn in the Boston area on Thanksgiving night.”

Now you know the truth, America. From here, I trust you will do the right thing: Permanently turn off CNN, donate as much money as you can afford to the Trump Foundation and continue to document liberal media lies on social media.

The future of our country (and the non-pornographic future of cable programming) is in your mobile device-filled hands. Please tap wisely.

Mathilda Malkin is an American conservative author, political commentator and blogger. She used to be a regular contributor to Fox News, but lately the network has become much too liberal for her, as revealed in her latest e-book, Never Trust Anyone with Politics Left of Pat Buchanan.