Every marketer knows one cost-effective, easy, lazy, zeitgeisty promotional tool that has the potency to take their marketing A-Game to the next level while avoiding cliché practices like using the term “next level” is content marketing.

Content is King, after all. Or maybe in the age of free content being fucking everywhere, content has been downgraded to Duke – but content certainly is still royalty of some kind, that’s my point here.

At any rate, each post you write should have a solid strategy behind it, so you don’t wind up writing sentences which don’t go anywhere, especially if the sentence you’re writing is about the importance of good writing, which is very, very important, and by definition goes somewhere, even if it’s just down the street to 7/11 to buy a pack of smokes.

One of the keys to good writing is to avoid redundancy, which is why it’s important to write well, especially in posts about the importance of writing well and avoiding redundancy. And because another key component of good writing is efficiency and brevity, which is all about avoiding excessive verbiage, including overuse of unnecessary subordinate phrases separated by a seemingly endless series of commas, I’m going to cut to the chase and present the following:

Five Keys To Writing Really, Really, Super Good Blog Posts Which Are Rank For Search Engines And All That

A. Make sure your formatting is consistent. When people read stuff, especially stuff about the importance of writing well, they don’t want to deal with a bunch of hard to read, seemingly random formatting.

a. Because of this fact, you should make sure what you write is split up in a way which

i. Makes sense and is easy to read.

2. Remember what you’re writing isn’t a textbook, so the last thing you want is long paragraphs packed with so much information and such long sentences that nobody will ever remember what you were talking about at the start of the paragraph, because after a while it all starts to feel like one of those Faulkner novels filled with parenthetical statements (which make it very hard to follow what a writer is trying to say, sort of like stories your girlfriend tells in which she refers to people you don’t know by their first names only, like you should just automatically know who “Chris” is, for fuck’s sake, or like you give a shit what Sarah said about Tim’s girlfriend, who is also named Sara, only it’s spelled without an “h” because apparently to appreciate her story it’s really important for you to know how some chick you’ll never meet spells her goddam name) and sentences which just go on and on and on, like a piece of classical music written by some guy named Wolfgang, or Hans, or Vladimir, or whatever, and which is just exhausting and unenjoyable, almost like they’ve forgotten there’s an audience and just keep going because they’re being paid by the fucking note or some shit.

IV.  It’s also very important to proof-reed your righting carefully, because spellcheck programs may not catch weather words which are spilled correctly but are naught the correct word in the context of the sentence. I simply cunt emphasize this point Enoch: It is very impotent to avoid this problem like the plaque.

Make smart use of bullet points (*), dashes (-) and other symbols (ʥ) to draw attention to important points in your post – like the still very important point that one should avoid redundancy to write good and stuff. And never, ever, under any circumstances allow any stray marks of this sort to slip through into your final draft, because it makes you look like you don’t know what you’re doing.

*

Also never forget to remove any placeholder text you might have put into your working draft. Next to using incomplete sentences, nothing makes you look bad faster than {time for lunch; insert rest of super smart observation here later}.

E. Remember the all-important AIDA marketing model:

– A = draw your reader’s Attention

– I = make sure you have caught your reader’s I.

– D = Dude, don’t forget A and I

– A = Seriously? We’ve already covered A.

CONCLUSION

Remember to always provide a clearly conclusion, and to put that conclusion beneath the word “conclusion” rendered in a large font size, so people will know they’ve reached the end of your post without having to notice there are no more words at the bottom of it.

If you follow these nine, or maybe seven, or possibly as many as 13 tips for good writing which is not redundant and also is good, you will greatly boost your organic reach – which is a lot like regular reach, except it’s “responsibly-sourced” and thereby more attractive to hippie chicks and other flakey people who frequently shop at Whole Foods.

Also remember to work smarter not harder, avoid clichés, don’t take any wooden nickels, keep your chin up, don’t go chasing waterfalls and if you ever have any questions about what makes good writing good, you can contact TartElderberry for any information you need to write blog posts which {writer’s block; come back later and Finnish with something more clevererer}

Elderberry Image © John Nyberg