Sex worker and journalist Cathy Reisenwitz has just self-published a booklet called 3 Steps to Better Boinking. Humorously titled, it obviously tackles the secrets to good sex; but it’s not your typical how-to guide.
Small but mighty, coming in at only 15 pages, 3 Steps to Better Boinking concentrates on the mind-body connect: “A lot of sex advice deals with what to do with your body during sex. While that’s important, the brain is much more important when it comes to having great sex,” said Reisenwitz. “My guide focuses on the mental and emotional aspects of sex first and foremost. It focuses on the fundamentals. What is sex? What are your goals for sex? What do you hope to get out of it? What are you willing to put in?”
According to Reisenwitz, most sex advice is prescriptive – “Do this and don’t do that” whereas her work focuses on the individual. In her words “There’s really no wrong or right way to have sex. It’s one of the most inclusive sex guides I’ve come across, in every sense of the word… it’s kind of a sex-positive feminist manifesto disguised as self-help.”
Reisenwitz came up with the idea to write it after thinking about all the important things she’d learned through doing sex work, making porn, having a lot of sex, and reading tons. Its short length was a decision to keep it fun and pack a punch. Don’t be fooled, however. The easy read is not fluff by any means and she assures readers it has grounding in theory and research. Of course, it doesn’t take itself too seriously either – with a title like 3 Steps to Better Boinking, how could it?
Passionate about the adult industry, Reisenwitz has always been interested in sex and politics and says she can’t remember a time when she hasn’t written about it. She started jotting in paper diaries in elementary school, graduated to poetry in middle school, edited the literary magazine in high school and college, and amped up her journalistic endeavors after college with her first WordPress blog. She got into sex work after writing about decriminalizing it:
“I started sugar babying in DC in my late 20s. My next foray into sex work was starting my OnlyFans during quarantine for Covid. That’s when I started to focus my writing and research more around sex work decriminalization, the First Amendment, online freedom, financial discrimination against sex workers, and other related issues. Here and there I’ve written some advice on sex and relationships, but this is my first concentrated effort to translate what I’ve learned into actionable advice packaged into guides.”
Wait, there’s more guides? Yep! This is just the beginning.
Reisenwitz has a goal to publish one each week and has already released a second booklet right on the heels of the first called – Dirty Talk 101. It’ll be exciting to see what new topics she covers in the future and her unique insights on the industry. You can purchase both manuals at her website as well as sign up for her newsletter – Sex and the State.
What people are saying about 3 Steps to Better Boinking:
“That ‘booklet’ is wonderful – kind, compassionate, open, informative. I really love your approach. Clear, non-judgmental. Really terrific.”
“I feel like I need to give this to anyone I ever have the potential to have sex with. Truly! Everyone needs to read it.”
“Extremely well written: nice combination of the inimitable Cathy voice and serious scholarship voice. Terrific information and even better advice.”
Typewriter background photo credit: iStock.com/mactrunk