WOMEN ON THE WEB
Why do women have a hard time buying sex? Actually, they don’t; they just need the right environment. Unfortunately, the “wrong” environment is the norm.WOMEN ON THE WEB
Why do women have a hard time buying sex? Actually, they don’t; they just need the right environment. Unfortunately, the “wrong” environment is the norm. I was one of those woman who craved sexually explicit material for years before I could get the nerve up to forego my intense feelings of discomfort and walk into one of those dreaded places, the XXX-rated store. You know the kind: located in the worst parts of town, darkened windows, and often a large, greasy man behind the counter. I carefully chose the least intimidating looking store in the city. After cruising by several times to make sure no strange people were around, I took a deep breath and marched in. For courage, I silently repeating to myself the mantra, “I am entitled to my sexuality, I am entitled to my sexuality”.
As my eyes adjusted to the brightly-lit, somewhat odd-smelling room, I saw several men scattered in all areas of the store looking with intense concentration into their respective magazines, or video box-covers. Desperately trying to blend in, I began to casually meander around the room. And then a strange thing began to happen. Without looking directly at me, the men began sidling towards various other parts of the store – that is to say, to wherever I wasn’t. I suddenly became intensely aware that I was female, and they were male. Mind you, not all of the men avoided eye-contact with me. There were also those that went to the other extreme. Some bold-stared me, and even made comments such as, “What do YOU like, baby?” It felt as though they thought that, just because I was in an X-rated store, I had announced that I was sexual, and therefore wearing a sign that said, “approach me”, or worse yet, “rape me”. That may sound paranoid. Real or not, the truth is, I was scared.
I quickly decided to ignore the atmosphere, find the material I was looking for, and get the hell out of there. But when my attention moved to the sex-products, all I could see were naked women…big-breasted, naked women. The box-covers were making a statement to this female that said, “This is not your place! This is a place for heterosexual MEN, only!!” All the titles, categories and movie descriptions were saying the same thing: “This is NO place for a heterosexual woman.”
But then came the Internet! I rejoiced, thinking that I could finally feel safe, that I wouldn’t have to got through alienating experiences in the sex shops anymore. I could now browse at leisure in the privacy of my own home and be totally anonymous. It was a new kind of liberation. For a time, I had fun. But the joy was of brief duration. As a woman, I now had new worries.
Although a large proportion of women enjoy looking at porn and purchasing sex products, many are hesitant about how they will be perceived by the outside world if anyone knew. Many women (and men) will forego buying the product/subscription they want, because they are scared stiff of someone somehow finding out their “dirty little secret.” It could come back to haunt them. They are bombarded by paranoid (and not so paranoid) thoughts such as, “Will my mother/daughter/feminist friend find out?” If so, would she still be able to join that feminist-reading group? Will her mother ever speak to her again? Will her daughter grow up to be a slut? Will she be shunned from the PTA?
If a retailer does not address these worries up front he/she will be missing many a potential sale.
WORRY #1: “If I use my credit card …will ‘they’ know who I am?” Will they sell my name?
Any new Internet buyer is a little hesitant to give out personal information into the black hole of the World Wide Web, assuming that it may get into the wrong hands. There is even less trust for sex companies. (Everyone knows these X-rated companies are run by the mob, don’t they?) For some, such a lack of anonymity can be an annoyance, but for many women it can be perceived as utterly devastating. Just like in the bricks and mortar X-rated shops, the issue of safety rears its ugly head. Maybe nobody saw the female customer physically, but now there is someone out there who knows her name, what she bought, and worse, her address. Again, what is likely going through her head is, “I am not safe!”
What to do:
1) Plain and simple: NEVER SELL NAMES.
2) Slap “Privacy” statements all over the site. Let her know that you will not sell her name or use her information in any way that may harm her or break the trust you are trying to build with her.
3) Use a privacy company such as Truste.org (www.truste.org). Let your users know exactly what you will disclose and what will happen to their names. And also, have an easy to access privacy section on your site.
WORRY # 2: “If I enter my e-mail address, will I be bombarded by porn e-mail?
Translation: “Will my family/friends find out?” Unnecessary emails are frustrating at best. At worst, they are “outing” a woman’s sexual interests to her unsuspecting family members or friends who may use the same computer. “It may be my husband, child or parent who receive e-mails or IM’s meant for me, titled ‘Hot Teens with Animals.’ They might find out that it was I who was looking at those large cocks or the double-ended dildo.”
What to do:
1) Plain and Simple: DO NOT BOMBARD CUSTOMERS WITH E-MAILS! Only send her an email when it is necessary or when she asks for it.
2) Double opt into any newsletters or e-mails.
3) Put the message on the site that says, “WE WILL NOT SEND YOU E-MAIL UNLESS YOU ASK FOR IT.” WORRY # 3: “If I try to get off the computer quickly, will I be unable to close the 10 windows that pop up?
This is one of THE most annoying aspects for everybody who is interested in sexual material online.
What to do: This one is simple, yet there are many adult webmasters out there who think pop up consoles will lure surfers into forking some cash over: Don’t do the endless pop up window thing. These “little inconveniences” will show your customer that you are not concerned with her need for privacy and will break any trust you are trying to build with her.
WORRY # 4: “If I ordered a sex-related product, would I get it in an obviously sexual package?”
Many a woman will fear the delivery of their sex package. What if a nosy, judgmental neighbor, or a family-member receives it? If a woman has been assured that the parcel will be discreetly packaged and labelled, however, she will be much more likely to hit that “buy” button.
What to do:
1) Package discreetly. Use plain packaging with subtle, non-sexual branding on the outside of the package. If someone else does your fulfillment for you, make sure they are up to standard.
2) Put a message on the site, “WE PACKAGE DISCREETLY”. Explain exactly what will happen when they receive their package. “You will receive your package in a plain wrapper with….”
3) Package material only in clean, professional packages. The package tells a story about your company. Many men don’t seem to care how things are packaged as long as they receive the goods inside. Poor packaging for women on the other hand can make a potentially good future customer go to another company. A dirty package with mismatching colors, hand-written labels, etc. tells your customer that you are a company that is not necessarily professional or trustworthy.
Now that your female customers feel safe, you have only won half the battle. The next challenge is to make her feel that your site is a place that doesn’t alienate her. If she is confronted with picture after picture of big-breasted women, she will be gone.
Editor’s note: Petra’s series on marketing to women will continue in upcoming editions of YNOT News.
