NEW YORK – There are many things of which we Americans have grown tired over the years, like planking, watching professional athletes do the Nae Nae, endless parodies of/references to the well-trod “Got Milk?” ad campaign and some TV show called “2 Broke Girls” — which may or may not have involved a broken cup.
Of course, there are many other things of which Americans should have grown tired but somehow have not, like singing competition reality TV programs, taking selfies and hearing about the ongoing “beef” between pop singers Taylor Perry and Katy Swift. (Or maybe the names I’m looking for here are Drake Minaj-Atrois and the rapper Ludacris. Obviously, I don’t track this sort of thing too closely).
In any event, evidently Americans now might be growing tired of a porn genre I’ve never even heard of, much less seen: “Trump assassination porn.”
Offhand, Trump assassination porn sounds like a bad idea — and quite possibly a bad idea that can be explored only once per Trump-impersonating performer, depending upon how “true-gonzo” this strange new genre becomes.
“Hate President Trump all you like for whatever laundry list of crimes you care to ascribe to him, real or imagined,” someone with the unlikely name “Jazz Shaw” recently wrote for HotAir. “Carry signs in the streets and attack the institution of the presidency. But assassination porn which graphically depicts bloody, horrific violence is apparently one bridge too far.”
“One bridge too far?” How did Trump’s erstwhile White House transition director Chris Christie get involved here? I swear, this Trump assassination porn thing just gets more confusing with each line I read.
Making matters even stranger, this variety of Trump porn-parody isn’t even available on tube sites; apparently, it’s strictly a live-theater thing.
“A performing arts group known as The Public Theater, based in Manhattan, has been putting on a performance of Julius Caesar in Central Park,” Shaw explained. “But this one comes with a twist. Caesar is Donald Trump[,] and other members of his family and staff make up the other characters. Since you know how things ended for Caesar in the play[,] I don’t have to fill in the details for you.” (We’re not judging Shaw’s punctuation, but a comma every now and again wouldn’t hurt.)
No Jazz, if you expect me to understand how this is porn, you do have to fill in the details for me, because unless I’m remembering my Shakespeare (very) incorrectly, Russian hookers never popped up to piss all over Julius Caesar. For that matter, so far as I can recall, there wasn’t even any grabbing of pussies.
This much I must concede to Mr. Bluegrass Shaw-Nuff, or whatever his name is: Things sure have changed in the field of presidential assassination porn since 2012, when some other low-rent public theater group did a version of Julius Caesar starring a Barrack Obama doppelganger and its sponsors didn’t drop it like a politically tinged hot potato.
“The play begins with a bank of video monitors featuring every talking head in the business — Keith Olbermann, Glenn Beck, Erin Burnett, Rachel Maddow, etc. — all mouthing in ultra-slow-motion the daily wave of misinformation and speculation we continue to call ‘the news,’” wrote one reviewer of the 2012 Obama assassination-porn production.
“As the heads dissolve into TV snow, in walks Caesar and his cabinet,” the review continued. “And, because Caesar is cast as a tall, lanky black man, the Obama inference is a bit too obvious. But it fits, sort of. Like Caesar, Obama rose to power on a tide of public goodwill; like Caesar, there were many in government who doubted Obama’s leadership abilities; and now that Obama’s first term has failed to live up to the messianic hype, there are plenty of people who — for the good of the country, you understand, not their own glory — want to take Obama down.”
As is the case with the current Trump assassination porn, I can’t find a copy of this Obama/Caesar smutfest on any adult tube sites either, which raises many questions for me. Chief among them: Which DMCA takedown service or intellectual property attorney are these porn theaters are using, because whoever it is sure must have some pull with the Pornhubs and Redtubes of the world.
In any event, even if Americans haven’t grown tired of Trump assassination porn, it seems safe to say there was never much of a market for such productions. After all, if there were such a market, wouldn’t VIVID have offered John Hinckley Jr. a job by now?
Image: Official White House portraits of Donald J. Trump, left, and Barack Obama.
