YNOT – Even though the year is less than one month old, it’s looking like 2011 very well may go down in history as “The Year Of The Weirder-Than-Weird Sex Stuff.” At least we won’t be bored.

Case in point: During a trip to Las Vegas, New York City resident Hubert Blackman secured the services of a lady of affordable virtue. Nothing unusual about that, right?

Au contraire. Seems Mr. Blackman’s experience with a woman he hired through hook-up agency Las Vegas Exclusive Personals left him less than satisfied, so he is suing the escort service because, as he notes in court documents, she “did an illegal sexual act on me during her paid service to me.”

Blackman seeks a refund of the $275 he paid and “a $1.8 million verdict for the tragic event that happened.” Las Vegas Exclusive Personals hasn’t responded, but we imagine their business is booming with clients asking for the “Blackman Special.” Anything worth $1.8 mil is definitely worth checking out.

If you’re a guy who has spent far too many sleepless nights scratching his upper head over what to call the head below your belt (and who hasn’t?), ponder no more. David Rosenthal and Saryn Chorney have put together The Penis Name Book: A Guide to Naming Man’s Best Friend. While we haven’t yet read this groundbreaking work of contemporary literature, we can only hope the movie will star Keanu Reeves in a part he was born to play.

Across the pond, a heavy metal enthusiast — and we mean real heavy metal — learned the hard way not to get himself into something he couldn’t get out of: in this case a length of pipe. Luckily, the fellow also managed to get himself into a local hospital where, as described by the U.K.’s Metro, medics “struggled to get the man’s penis out of the stainless steel pipe, because the restricted blood flow had caused it to become erect” (the penis, not the pipe). While medical professionals were unable to separate the man from the object of his desire, a different set of professionals — members of the Hampshire Fire and Rescue Service — managed to free the hapless gent by using an industrial metal grinder.

Particularly giggle-worthy is what a member of the Rescue Service said: “I’ve only come across this type of thing three or four times in my 17 years as a firefighter. It’s not a daily occurrence.” [Ed. note: Three or four times? Perhaps there’s a niche porn market just begging for development.]

In tastier news…. Master distiller Francisco “Don Pancho” Fernandez has created an “exceptionally well-balanced 7-year-old rum,” according to The Awesomer.com. We understand Ron de Jeremy Rum is a rather sturdy vintage that goes down well with … okay, we’ll stop right there.

Meanwhile BBMLive.com, a travel and entertainment news site from the Land Down Under (“where women roar and men thunder,” according to Men at Work), relates the story of an Aussie law enforcement officer caught in a compromising and potentially horribly embarrassing position.

“Two officers patrolling the area spotted [Constable Peter] Karras about 10.40pm, wearing a black ladies G-string that exposed his penis, as well as a black bra, several gold necklaces and matching bracelets and high heels,” BBMLive reported, adding that at the time Karas was “committing an ‘offensive act.’”

The officer may be booted from his beat, but perhaps he’ll find a haven in the vice division.

M.Christian is a YNOT.com contributing editor and an author”][url=http://www.amazon.com/gp/search/ref=sr_tc_2_0?rh=i%3Astripbooks%2Ck%3AM.+Christian&keywords=M.+Christian&ie=UTF8&qid=1295446068&sr=1-2-ent&field-contributor_id=B001H6WH3Y#/ref=sr_pg_1?rh=n%3A283155%2Ck%3AM.+Christian%2Cp_82%3AB001H6WH3Y&keywords=M.+Christian&ie=UTF8&qid=1295446149]author[/url] of literary erotica that blends the spectrum of sexual preferences and desires with horror and science fiction. Got weird sex news you want to share? Email him.