By M.Christian

YNOT – Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to yet another installment of Odd Balling, your come-to location for the sexually odd and erotically weird … or, as we like to say, where we prove scientist J. B. S. Haldane’s statement: “My own suspicion is that the universe is not only queerer than we suppose, but queerer than we can suppose.”

In the “out front and obvious” department, Weird Universe reported about a group of New Zealand scientists who spent years embedded in research to determine the first thing men notice about a woman is her breasts. So yes, ladies, that’s exactly what he’s staring at. (And someone actually funded this.)

It warms out hearts, and other body parts to see that a spirit of support and generosity has emerged from the tragedy of the Japanese earthquake. According to 3Yen: News on Japan, online community The Lesbian Lifestyle and sex toy e-tailer NeverStraight.com promised to donate 50 percent of all proceeds from the sale of adult products to help the relief effort. Kelly Leszczynski, The Lesbian Lifestyle’s editor, was quick to point out the promotion was not intended as “a mockery of what has happened in Japan. People will always buy sex toys, and why not put a portion of the proceeds to a good cause?”

Just don’t ask the mayor of Neuville-en-Ferrain, France, to contribute. Gerard Cordon has “issues,” as evidenced by his decision to replace the town’s bust of Marianne, “traditional female embodiment of the French Republic,” with something less busty. According to the Telegraph, Cordon insisted the well-endowed statue embodied more of a public distraction. Sculptor Catherine Lamacque, who installed the piece in 2007, admitted she may have overzealously rendered the terracotta figure’s bosom in an effort “to symbolize the generosity of the Republic.”

One disgruntled local resident noted, “People are stupid. Better nice breasts than none at all.”
But back to science: Gearfuse made the brazen announcement that researchers have discovered masturbation can prevent “restless leg syndrome.” As with all things scientific, certain questions have emerged about this line of research: Is there anything that isn’t better with masturbation? How large was the sample population for this no-doubt well-thought-out series of experiments? Most importantly, how can help?

It’s got lions, tigers, bears and just about every critter in the world, but until recently, the infamous Icelandic Phallological Museum in Húsavík didn’t have a homo sapiens penis. Thank goodness altruism isn’t entirely dead, and Pall Arason’s sizable donation to the museum will ensure he lives forever. Curator Sigurdur Hjartarson lauded Arason’s selfless contribution: “I have just been waiting for this guy for 15 years.”

Perhaps Colorado resident Gabi Jones would consider donating her body to science before she dies. According to Oddity Central, the 25-year-old experiences orgasm whenever she eats her favorite foods. About her situation she has said, “When I indulge, I never rush. I take my time and treat all meals as very sexual experiences.” It is unknown whether Gabi has seen When Harry Met Sally, but in the spirit of research we would like to take her to dinner.

M.Christian is a YNOT.com contributing editor and an author of literary erotica that blends the spectrum of sexual preferences and desires with horror and science fiction. Got weird sex news you want to share? Email him.