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YNOT WTF: Sometimes even serious people need a good laugh.

New Measure Allows Fans to Sue Porn Stars

Posted On 01 Sep 2015
By : Ben Suroeste

TruthInPornAdsSACRAMENTO, Calif. – If it passes, a ballot measure set to appear on the Nov. 8, 2016, ballot will allow any resident of the state of California to initiate enforcement action against adult entertainment studios that fail to comply with the Total Accuracy in Porn Marketing And Eroticism (TAPME) Act approved by voters in 2012.

“Given the continuing practice of flagrant false advertising and misleading marketing by the adult entertainment industry, it is clear we need to enhance the TAPME Act with a provision that enables everyday citizens to serve as extra pairs of eyes, ears and genitals for the state with respect to this important, life-saving consumer protection measure,” said Anthony Naderstein, the executive director of Californians for Arbitrary and Selective Paternalism (CASP).

“The passage of this ballot measure will signal a new day in the marketing of erotic materials to Californians,” Naderstein added. “No longer will porn studios be allowed to lie to consumers with impunity. There will be consequences, and those consequences will be severe.”

According to Naderstein, among the “most pernicious” of the false advertising methods employed by the adult entertainment industry is a phenomenon known as the “Hispasian” performer — Hispanic girls presented as Korean, Japanese, Chinese or some other Asian ethnicity.

“When a consumer purchases a DVD or online

title called Goo Gobbling Geisha Girls, he should be able to do so with confidence, knowing all the aforementioned goo is being gobbled by a woman who is actually Japanese — or, at the very least, a very Japanese-looking Thai girl from East Hollywood,” Naderstein said. “If what he wanted to see was Guatemalan goo gobblers, obviously he would have googled accordingly.”

While some porn viewers applaud the new proposal, others worry a provision permitting viewers to sue the performers themselves goes too far.

“Look, we’ve all been burned by labels that say ‘100-percent anal’ or ‘her first time,’ but I just don’t think it’s right to hold the performers responsible for advertising and marketing that isn’t under their control,” said Arturo Manos-Rojos, a self-described “ass man” and resident of Salinas, Calif.

“Sure, I’ve watched Kagney Linn Karter do her first anal about 37 times now,” Manos-Rojos continued, “but is it really her fault? What’s Kagney supposed to do — turn down a good-paying gig based on some highfalutin principle concerning the sanctity of first-time butt-sex advertising? She’s just there to take it in the ass and pick up a check. Why can’t the rest of us just be happy suspending disbelief and jerking off, for Christ’s sake?”

Self-proclaimed First Amendment expert Ernest S. Hitter Esq. said while he understands and supports the desire to protect consumers from false ad claims, he’s not sure the new bill can withstand the scrutiny of the courts.

“We’ll have to see how the final language reads to come to any conclusions as to its constitutional-ish-ness, but another important thing to consider is just like corporations, federal judges are people too,” Hitter said. “If the case is heard by a guy who used to routinely jack off to Asia Carrera movies back when he was in law school, he might not see the Hispasian performer as a serious issue facing the modern porn fan. But if he’s a major purist when it comes to something like live-action versions of Yuri, he might set aside First Amendment concerns in favor of his personal pornographic bias.”

Producer Leeland Jiit, owner and founder of Lee-Jiit Entertainment, said he has no concerns about the law because his studio is “religious” about using only Japanese performers in its flagship video series, Shinjuku Super Sluts.

“I compare our commitment to our ‘ethnic ethos’ to the unquestioned and irreproachable integrity of the American fundamentalist preacher,” Jiit said. “You will no sooner see a Mexican on our set than you will see a famous televangelist frequenting prostitutes, smoking meth with rent-boys or using the specter of his imminent death as a manipulative fundraising tool.”

Still, just to be sure, Jiit said he will subject the ethnic origins of his prospective performers to even more scrutiny should the amendment to TAPME be approved by voters.

“In the past, when a girl’s last name was Hernandez, I would still approve her to appear in our films if she said her mother was Japanese,” Jiit said. “While it’s sort of sad to not be able to simply extend blind trust to my valued performers, going forward I’m going to need some form of confirmation of their half-Japanese-ness — like the ability to accurately describe the difference between various types of miso, or something.”

About the Author
Ben Suroeste only reports "hard news" -- which is to say "news" that is "hard" to find anywhere else, mostly because he made it all up. He still doesn't have that fifty bucks he owes you, but he's working on it, OK?
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