HOLLYWOOD, Calif. – Demon hunters, unsuspecting scientists and prospective damsels in distress beware: The Hentaied Universe continues to expand, and its latest brand extension sounds poised to be the most terrifying yet. Yes, it’s the launch of MonsterPorn.com, a site Hentaied’s reps described as “so amazing that you’re not ready for it.”
This raises an immediate question for me: Were we previously ready for sex=hungry alien parasites that take over people’s minds, super-gropy tentacles with minds of their own, vampires and the rest of what already populated the Hentaied Universe? And another question: Why does my word processor insist on trying to change that last term to “Hentaied University”? Does it know something I don’t about a still-pending brand extension – and if so, what would people study at Hentaied University and would that thing take over their bodies and force them to have orgies with their colleagues?
But those are questions for another day. On this day, we bear witness to the birth of MonsterPorn.com, “a world of creatures, fear, and desire where the hottest porn stars transform into nurse mutants, masked criminals with psychic abilities, inflicted with biological weapon infections, dark sorceresses, dangerous slashers, samurai, and more, and then have the best sex of their lives,” according to the launch announcement.
“If Quentin Tarantino made porn and turned it up many notches, this would be it,” the announcement added. (No word on whether the directors behind MonsterPorn.com think that Owen Wilson sucks, too.)
Speaking of directors, according to the launch announcement the first 13 scenes available on the new site were directed by Romero, Ricky Greenwood, and Roberto DiSuna and the featured stars include Blake Blossom, Melody Marks, Emma Rosie, Charlotte Sins, Hailey Rose, Kylie Rocket, Aria Sloane, Lucy Mochi and Octokuro.
“We’ve spared no expense with our sets and stars to make the best and most creative monster porn – there’s nothing like it,” said the site’s creator/producer, Romero, Mr. Alien. “It’s wild, over the top, and will scare you and turn you on at the same time, like your favorite horror flick. You’re welcome.”
You can check out the latest addition to the Hentaied Universe now at MonsterPorn.com.
