By Peter Wheelan
Special to YNOT.com

HOUSTON – As a proud heterosexual male, I’m truly alarmed by what I see coming out of the pornography industry these days, a terrible trend in which one gender is systematically subjugated by the other, coerced and cajoled into performing unthinkable and unnatural sex acts, reducing their partners to no more than vehicles for their own selfish pleasure.

I’m speaking, of course, of the erotic scourge known as “feminist porn.”

Plying the seemingly limitless power and influence afforded them by our neutered and androphobic modern Western society, hundreds of viciously self-absorbed women, many of them wearing glasses in order to seem more erudite and less threatening than they truly are, have laid siege to what one might expect to be the last bastion of rationality and natural, evolution-derived male dominance.

This is what the porn industry represented to a lot of members of the Men’s Rights Movement: Our last, best hope of prying the “cultural remote control” from the fingers of the harpies, shrews and crones who now dictate nearly every facet of men’s lives. Instead, an entitled gaggle of feminists have burst into the adult entertainment bathroom uninvited and slammed closed the toilet seat before we were done pissing!

With the rise of feminist porn, spurred on by Big Femme mouthpieces like Cosmopolitan, Redbook and Men Suck Weekly, even the adult entertainment industry has been co-opted by these rapacious, power-mad feminists — just another speedbump on the road to their absolute, unquestioned dominion over anything with a Y chromosome … with the possible exception of Caitlyn Jenner.

There was a time when I could visit a porn site and rest assured 100 percent of what I saw there would be properly focused on the fantasies, sexual needs and perfectly balanced ego of the male viewer. Blowjobs would be long and deep, anal sex would be plentiful and one-way, and depictions of the fundamentally demeaning act of cunnilingus would be fleeting and highly efficient.

These days, however, I find myself having to check the label on my pornography more and more, acting like a heart patient on a restricted diet of kissing, spooning and — most oppressive of all — male ejaculate that gets sprayed somewhere other than on a woman’s face.

First, the feminists came for our board room, then it was the locker room, now they’ve descended upon our porn set like a horde of humorless, uptight, politically-correct eroto-locusts, bent on chewing off our collective manhood like airborne, ambulatory piranha.

There was a time when I could visit a porn site and rest assured 100 percent of what I saw there would be properly focused on the fantasies, sexual needs and perfectly balanced ego of the male viewer. Blowjobs would be long and deep, anal sex would be plentiful and one-way, and depictions of the fundamentally demeaning act of cunnilingus would be fleeting and highly efficient.

The feminazi pornograp-Hers taking over the porn industry like to pretend it’s all about “mutual pleasure” and “true passion” and “real sex,” but what it’s really about is control, power and influence. Symbolically, they are castrating male porn viewers. But at the end of the day, do you really think all these hormonally imbalanced Joan of Arc wannabes are going to be satisfied with mere symbols?

Friends, make no mistake about it: Once they’ve finished lopping off your figurative penis through their systematic feminization of porn, next they’re going to come for the real thing — and they ain’t even going to do you the courtesy of using anesthesia. They’re just going to saw off your one-eyed Pete with savage determination, a rusty, serrated blade and visible glee. Shit, they’ll probably strike up a rousing chorus of “I Am Woman” while they’re at it.

While the situation is dire, it’s not too late to turn back the tide — but for male porn fans and men in general, it’s time to wake up and smell the Midol.

Some scoff at the idea of women subjugating and oppressing men. All that proves is those people never attended an American high school, where legions of young men historically have groveled and demeaned themselves at length, only to have their prom-night invitations rejected with greater frequency than white male applicants to a California-based state university.

All you porn-loving men out there are free to ignore my warnings about feminist porn as you see fit, but please understand, you’re ignoring them at your own peril.

As it stands today, the feminists’ metastasizing influence over the adult industry might be little more than an inconvenience when parsing out search engine responses, but before you know it, they’ll have banned men from porn altogether, replacing us through clandestine use of CGI and motion capture technology, paired with strategic application of strap-on phalli.

Laugh all you want, folks; it won’t seem so funny once the only publication reviewing new porn releases is the Journal of Feminist Scholarship.

Peter Wheelan is a men’s rights advocate, founder of the website VoxHominibus and author of Make Me a Sammich, Biotch: Restoring Men’s Rightful Place of Power in Society and the Home.