By Peter Berton
TORONTO – T-girl Lexi Sanfino came to world attention a few weeks ago after taking a topless stroll down a WestJet aircraft aisle in response to what she considered rude comments from a flight attendant.
Even before that, however, Sanfino was well known, and respected, in Canada as a performing artist and transgender activist. Her impromptu striptease, in fact, made a political statement, raising eyebrows in some quadrants and applause in others.
Sanfino is more than naked controversy. While the lady has no trouble showing her claws when provoked, she’s also blessed with a razor-sharp wit and intellect that make her fascinating. YNOT discovered that and more when we sat down for a chat.
YNOT: How long have you been a performer?
Lexi Sanfino: I’ve been involved in the sex trade industry for more than 10 years. I am a trans activist and sex trade workers’ advocate. I am also a celebrated film writer whose last film, directed by Guy Madden, was named among the top 10 films at the Toronto International Film Festival.
I have been working intensely with Nina Arsenault in a collaboration that demystifies gender roles in sexuality. I appeared on Showcase’s hit reality TV show KINK, and that provided a valuable lesson: Reality is way too scripted. My life is not.
When did you decide to transition, and why?
For the obvious reasons. My cable got cut off and I was no longer able to watch ESPN. And the hockey strike took me quite hard, so what does a girl do when she doesn’t have cable? She transitions.
Stupid question.
You don’t wake up one day and decide that you’re trans. It’s something you know in your heart, and it equals life or death. Transitioning saved my life.
Living in the wrong body is not healthy. I know people who didn’t have the opportunity to be true to themselves and are no longer with us. We’re all taught from a very young age: Be yourself.
“Be yourself.” That’s good advice for almost everyone. How did becoming yourself change your life — or did it?
I live my life guarded, and I’ve worked in the sex industry for quite some time. While I know I do provide a service, I’ve learnt that men have carnal desires. Sometimes I think of myself as a fuck robot.
I’m willing to go places other girls aren’t. I believe sex is healthy, but I still sometimes fight with the idea that trans women, while desired, are sexualized via pornography and the labels that are associated with it.
So, secretly you watch trans porn, and it probably gets your rocks off, but would you ever take the time to get to know a trans woman? It’s a weird standard that we are objects of lust, being objectified by a misogynistic world.
How did you come to define yourself as an activist?
My life in this industry has been a lengthy one which has included prostitution, hosting sex parties and gangbangs, sugar daddies, stripping and being an overall sexual deviant. All these things have been life lessons that I will cherish.
I believe that sex trade work should not have any stigma attached to it, because the women and men who are brave enough to put their bodies out there deserve a gold medal. Sex is sex, as long as you’re in the game for the right reasons.
The life of a service provider can be very rewarding. Just learn to love latex, and you’ll love yourself.
Do I have regrets in life? To be truthful, not many.
The WestJet story has been all over the news. What inspired you to go topless on the airplane?
WestJet’s trans-phobic treatment of Nina and I brought me to a boiling point. I’ve never asked someone about their genitals or if they were menstruating. But for some reason cisgendered people feel it’s an open topic to dissect us and our bodies.
I’m currently on a “no-fly list” as my breasts are now considered to be ta-ta-terrorists. My case is in the capable hands of Peter Northcott, one of Edmonton’s finest lawyers, so I have no doubt I’ll be flying again soon.
Was the event as farcical as it seemed in the media?
I am a radical protester, and if I’m going to be called by male pronouns by some idiot stewardess, then I want my male privilege — something I’ve never had before.
You don’t seem to have been too traumatized by the incident.
I don’t give a fuck about the expectations of people who do not matter in my life. If I took everything to heart, I would be broken.
My advice to anybody feeling oppressed, objectified or just brought down by life, is it’s not what has happened, it’s how we get up and dust ourselves off and get on with it.
What are your goals? Where do you want to be in five years’ time?
Well, mostly to be an axe murderer. Failing that, maybe a hairdresser. As long as I have something sharp in my hands at all times.
What do few people know about you?
I am into a heavy scene. Nothing pleases me more than to punch-fuck, stretch, gape, dominate, but most of all my life is an open book. Anybody who has the internet can find out anything about anybody.
