HOLLYWOOD, Calif. – In announcing the release of a new scene from Nookies, the site’s reps referred to the featured performer as “smoking hot inked Asian MILF Kitty Chow,” a phrase that momentarily made me fear for the dietary security of the world’s feline population. My confusion was only deepened by reading the rest of the line, however, which specified that Kitty Chow has “the perfect measurements of 34-25-35 and a lovely 32C enhanced rack.”
If Kitty has a “lovely 32C enhanced rack,” then to what does the “34” above refer? Just when I thought I had a solid grasp of how these measurements work, they’ve gone and added a fourth dimension? Wait a minute… is Kitty Chow a being from the Fourth Dimension, or possibly an uncredited member of John McLaughlin’s Fourth Dimension? The former seems distinctly possible, as the announcement also references the fact that when Kitty made her Nookies debut, it “almost broke the site” – and if there’s one thing I know about beings from the Fourth Dimension, it’s that they often wreak havoc with source code.
Be that as it may, what the release announcement reports next is more along the lines of a standard site update, whatever dimension Kitty Chow may call home. Directed by Eli Thomas, the new scene is called “Asian MILF Kitty Chow: Cheating Fuck Fantasy,” in which – clearly – cheating has sex with fantasy. Or something.
The scene “opens with Kitty Chow grilling her sister’s husband about the rumors she’s heard that he’s cheating on her sister.” Kitty, evidently, has been “tracking his activities” and finds that her brother-in-law can’t explain why his car was parked outside a local Holiday Inn.
Thankully (I guess?) for the brother-in-law in question, Kitty is willing to keep his secret from her sister, so long as she gets to fuck him. Always looking out for her sister, that Kitty!
“Kitty sits on his lap, they make out, and she grabs his cock,” the scene description explains. “Then, she drops to her knees for a sloppy blowjob. Then they fuck in reverse cowgirl, doggy, and missionary before her sister’s husband drops the money shot on her pussy and stomach. This will be their little secret, and he won’t be cheating with Susie anymore.”
Wait, what? Who is Susie? Is she also from the Fourth Dimension? Does John McLaughlin know about this? Can Susie play the vibraphone?
The owner of Nookies, Jim, didn’t clarify any of this in his remarks.
“Kitty has been one of our most popular MILFs in a long time—the black bob, tight hot body, tats, big boobs, and her incredible on-screen presence went over well with the members,” Jim offered. “Her new scene is even hotter, if that’s possible!”
Further investigation of this situation is needed. To check out the scene, drop in on Nookies.com. To read an exclusive interview with Kitty Chow (which still doesn’t answer the question of whether she’s an interdimensional being or a jazz musician), check out the Nookies blog.
