LOS ANGELES, CA — Nobody knows the troubles that poor, misunderstood, and doubtlessly underappreciated Girls Gone Wild multi millionaire Joe Francis has endured for his softcore art. Tax evasion, 2257 violations, prison bribes, stashed sleeping pills, underage performers, community service, fines — the list of indignities just keeps getting longer. And it has.Add to Francis’ ever mounting list of woes a charge of misdemeanor sexual battery. On the plus side, at least the alleged victim is of age. Barely.

According to an unnamed 18-year-old woman, a January birthday party at the Geisha House in Hollywood turned into an unwanted fondle fest when Francis began groping her butt, boobs, and inner thighs. Unimpressed by his technique, the young woman claims that she repeatedly told him to keep his hands to himself, but the cocky smut lord continued his manual explorations.

City attorney representative Frank Mateljan says that the misdemeanor sexual battery charge could earn 34-year-old Francis a six month stay in jail and a $2,000 fine. While the money might barely be missed by the gone wild one, the orange jump suit experience would likely not make Francis a happy camper, especially after his current 35 day stint in a Florida jail for criminal contempt is completed and he returns to court to face Nevada tax evasion charges.

Francis’ attorney, Jan Handzlik, shrugs aside the accusation of inappropriate groping as yet another money grab from yet another greedy girl. “When it rains, it pours,” he observes. “The timing of this isn’t coincidental. The incident upon which this is based is over three months old.”

Whether the existence of a witness to the unwanted pawing who is willing to discuss the incident makes it more worrisome is unknown, although Handzlik has admitted that “Amid Joe’s other legal problems, this is not helpful.”

Perhaps an etiquette class on proper behavior with the opposite sex and the meaning of “no” would be helpful.