LAS VEGAS, Nev. – In a roundabout way, Team Skeet has helped answer through a porn parody a question that has been plaguing me since I first saw the newest Verizon ad campaign: Why is Lindsay Lohan on my television screen?

It turns out Lohan is starring in Freakier Friday, a reboot of a movie she was in 22 years ago, which I now know because Team Skeet has released a porn parody of that reboot, “I’m Still in My Stepdaughter’s Body, Fuck Us Again (Freakier Friday Parody)” a title that just rolls off the tongue. It doesn’t, however, roll right off the keyboard, so I’m going to refer to it as “ISIMSBFUAFFP” for the rest of this post to save my lazy ass some typing.

Featuring Harley Love, Jessica Aaren and Wendy Raine, the release announcement for ISIMSBFUAFFP came complete with a lengthy quote from the perspective of its central character.

“No, no, no! This can’t be happening. When I woke up today, my body felt weird, so I touched myself, trying to figure out why that might be. My tits were massive! Don’t get me wrong, my boobs are beautiful and perky too, but these were not mine.”

Don’t you hate it when you wake up with boobs that aren’t yours? Me neither.

“Then, I grabbed my ass, and it was bigger too. Even fingering myself felt different.”

Does it feel different because you’re fingering your ass? Just a thought.

“When I looked at myself in the mirror, I understood what was going on: I was in my step-grandma’s (Wendy Raine) body!”

Ahh, I suppose that probably explains the altered fingering sensation. Odds are your step-grandma is probably fingering herself in confusion right now, so you might not want to go running around trying to find her.

“I ran to find her, and she was also trapped in a different body: my stepmom’s (Jessica Aaren), which meant…”

… that you were now watching your stepmom finger your step-grandma?

“…that my stepmom was in my body.”

Ah, right. That makes sense. I probably should have seen that coming.

“Looking at myself in front of me was one of the weirdest things I’ve ever experienced, and also one of the hottest. All I could think of was whether it was possible to have sex with myself.”

Seriously? Having sex with yourself was all you could think about? Not, ‘How the fuck did this happen?’ but ‘Wonder if my stepmom is down for some fauxcest?’

“Everything got even more complicated when my stepmom’s old fling came to pick her up for a date. We all tried to pretend to be each other so the guy wouldn’t freak out, but eventually, our little secret slipped out.”

Let me guess, he wasn’t curious about how this happened, either?

“Nobody knew who he was supposed to sleep with, so we made a new deal.”

It wasn’t a green new deal, was it? Because if so, it will just be rescinded by the Trump Administration anyway.

“Until we got back to our bodies, he had to fuck all of us. After all, if we wanted to go back to normal, we had to walk in each other’s paths, and what better way to get to know each other than through a foursome? I’m so glad we did that because nothing has ever felt as good as licking my own pussy.”

OK, now I’m a little jealous. I’ve been trying to suck my own dick for years, but I just lack the flexibility. And the beer gut doesn’t help, either.

“I grew up obsessed with ‘Freaky Friday,’ so getting to channel a sexy, naughty Lindsay Lohan vibe in this role? Total fantasy fulfilled,” Jessica Aaren said of her latest role. “I love making parodies; bringing to life characters from the shows and movies I grew up watching makes it all so much more fun.”

Wendy Raine echoed her co-star, saying “I love doing parodies and I was excited Team Skeet asked me to be in this one! It was fun to play the switch of the youngest character in my body, and I had a blast making this scene with my other fantastic scene-mates!”

You too can enjoy the body-swapping madness of ISIMSBFUAFFP, available now on TeamSkeet.com.