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Is That A Bee In Your Pants, Or Did Bitcoin Just Spike?

Posted On 21 Dec 2017
By : Ben Suroeste

VENICE, Calif. – If you’re looking for something more satisfying to do with your cryptocurrency-related time than sitting there watching the price rise and fall like a heart rate monitor attached to a speed freak doing interval training, CamSoda has just the platform for you.

BitCast connects interactive sex toys to the price-performance of three major cryptocurrencies, BitCoin, Ethereum and LiteCoin, causing the intensity of the toys’ vibration to fluctuate in response to real-time changes in price of the cryptocurrencies.

To hook it all up, users must download the BodyChat app from Lovense and use a compatible device, like the Lush.

CamSoda VP Daryn Parker said the idea for BitCast flowed from recognizing what it is about cryptocurrency which has captured the public imagination, even among people who aren’t using cryptocurrency, or have any clue how it works.

“What has so many people captivated, aside from the fact that virtual currencies are largely unregulated and fraught with risk, is the daily volatility – the stratospheric price rises followed by meteoric price drops,” Parker said. “With people constantly tracking their cryptocurrency investments, we saw an opportunity to offer them simultaneous sexual pleasure derived exclusively from price fluctuations.”

While watching prices dip and rise can be thrilling and disheartening, alternatively, for those already inclined to closely track cryptocurrency prices, Parker figures CamSoda’s new app gives investors added incentive to keep an eye on their returns.

“Now, with BitCast, our fans can hook up their favorite interactive toy and literally get pleasure from their investments,” Parker added. “So, essentially, as the price goes up, so too do your orgasms.”

At the time of publication for this post, the price of LiteCoin was hovering around the $280 mark, while Ethereum was just below $800. Both of those price points are significantly lower than BitCoin, of course, which was pinging around in the range of $15,200 at press time.

About the Author
Ben Suroeste only reports "hard news" -- which is to say "news" that is "hard" to find anywhere else, mostly because he made it all up. He still doesn't have that fifty bucks he owes you, but he's working on it, OK?
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