MENLO PARK, Calif. – A Bay Area homeowner said she was left to deal with “shame, rejection, unused beds and a crippling sense of inadequacy” after her home was rented by a sex worker who chose not to film pornography during her stay in the Menlo Park residence.
According to the aggrieved homeowner, Sharise Gadzukis, video evidence found on the internet suggests the renter instead chose to film across the street at the home of Gadzukis’ neighbor, Isaac Baez.
“I just couldn’t believe it when the porno came out and I could see the tops of Isaac’s tacky statues and garish stained glass windows in the background of the opening scene, every time they flashed to the guy’s face during the blowjob sequence,” Gadzukis said. “The tasteful and color-coordinated prints on the walls of my great room would have been so much classier. On top of the decision to film there being incredibly insulting, it just doesn’t make sense aesthetically.”
Gadzukis also noted her swimming pool is “much larger and surrounded by much better landscape architecture” than the one at the Baez residence. She referred to the Baez pool as a “glorified coy pond without the fish.”
While she hasn’t taken any action yet, Gadzukis said she’s considering filing a lawsuit against both the tenant and Cloud-Based-Bed-N-Breakfast-N-BYOB (“CBBNBNB”), the home-sharing service through which she rented out her home.
“While responsibility for the inexplicable decision not to film porn in my home lies primarily with the renter, CBBNBNB should have warned me about the possibility,” Gadzukis said. “At the very least, the company should help me locate a different pornographer/tenant to fulfill the promise abandoned by the previous tenant.”
In a statement released by CBBNBNB, spokesman Nick Riviera said the company will “definitely assist” Gadzukis in finding a suitable smut producer, but maintained the rental service has no actual legal obligation to do so.
“In the agreement signed by our homeowners, there’s ample warning to the effect that CBBNBNB cannot anticipate every situation, as well as language noting the historical unreliability of porn industry clients,” Riviera said. “At the end of the day, we’re stuck trusting the tenant’s claims and promises, just like the homeowner.”
Riviera added as practical matter, “no house-rental intermediary can reasonably offer a ‘no flake’ policy when it comes to promises to memorialize homes through internet pornography.”
“We can’t guarantee porn will be made by a tenant any more than we can guarantee a renter is really a non-smoker,” Riviera said. “As opposed to being someone who knows he needs to say he’s not a smoker, but who then chain-smokes in your foyer for six days straight, just to be a dick.”
Sharon Fluids, a pornographer who has come forward as the tenant in question, said she never “promised, guaranteed or even hinted” pornography would be filmed in the home during her stay.
“At the time I rented the Gadzukis property, I was still undecided about where I’d be shooting MILFMan Does Menlo,” Fluids said in a written statement. “I was certainly open to using the Gadzukis property initially, but upon arrival, I determined the residence was insufficiently lavish and opulent to communicate the sense of affluence and class with which I wanted to surround the fabulously wealthy male protagonist, Baron Walton DuPont.”
Baez, a local recording artist who specializes in writing folk songs about poker, said while he can understand why Gadzukis is miffed about being snubbed by Fluids, he takes offense at his decorative tastes being referred to as “tacky.”
“This critique comes from a woman with twin lion statues on either side of the enormous granite staircase that leads to her front door,” Baez said. “Oh sure, that’s real tasteful — if you happen to be some goombah Mafioso from New Jersey.”
