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YNOT WTF: Sometimes even serious people need a good laugh.

Following Acquittal, a Porn Job Offer for DSK

Posted On 15 Jun 2015
By : admin

PARIS – The good news just keeps rolling in for Dominique Strauss-Kahn, the controversial and perpetually horny former chief of the International Monetary Fund.

Soon after acquittal in a French court on charges of aggravated pimping, irritated pandering and mildly exasperated soliciting, the beleaguered DSK received a job offer from the one prospective employer who would never be put off by the lurid details of his recent past: GARISH Entertainment Chief Executive Officer Eztebe Harsch.

“Dominique, it’s time to sit back and take a realistic look at your prospects,” Harsch stated in a letter to the frisky Frenchman. “Even though you have been acquitted in a court of law, in the court of public opinion you will always be viewed as a dirty old perv who can’t keep his hands to himself. Rather than try to rehabilitate your image, it’s time to embrace it by becoming a featured performer and in-house director for GARISH.”

Harsch said while he can’t envision DSK as “a loveable, Dave Cummings-type older performer,” he thinks the disgraced former IMF head “could establish a whole new paradigm in geriatric cocksmen.”

“If you think about the great characters in modern mainstream entertainment, a lot of them fit into the ‘people we love to hate’ category,” Harsch said. “I picture Dominique becoming the Frank Underwood of porn — especially if he makes a habit of speaking directly to the camera and ‘breaking the fourth wall’ while he’s nailing a GARISH Girl from behind.”

Acknowledging DSK is wealthy enough he likely could retire comfortably as his finances stand, Harsch focused his pitch to DSK on the opportunity to continue his infamous sexual exploits without concern for future prosecution or embarrassment.

“Picture this, Dominique: You could fuck all kinds of women — be they teens, GILFs or anywhere in between — and nobody could say a discouraging word about it, because you’d just be doing your job,” Harsch wrote in the letter. “In France, they might call what you did ‘aggravated pimping,’ but here at GARISH, we just call it being a professional.”

In defending against the most recent charges filed against him, DSK has said he didn’t know the women at the sex parties in question were prostitutes, adding he never would have attended if he’d known because prostitutes could be susceptible to “pressures.” In his offer letter, Harsch seized on this concern and presented porn production as a far safer means of achieving the same “release” DSK has said he sought from the sexy soirees.

“You know who isn’t susceptible to ‘pressures,’ Dominique? Porn stars and porn studios,” Harsch wrote. “Heck, if were susceptible to ‘pressures’ we all would have gone into a less controversial and more socially accepted line of work, like being a bag man for the mafia, or running FIFA.”

Asked about his specific vision for titles and releases featuring DSK, Harsch said he’s open to a variety of possibilities, although a theme that “resonates with Dominique’s background would be ideal for generating buzz.”

“My first thought is to feature him in a series where he hosts and participates in group sex parties at luxurious hotels — although if he’d prefer to avoid interracial and/or maid-fetish content, I would certainly understand where he’s coming from,” Harsch said.

While the job might seem a perfect fit for DSK from the outside looking in, one of his former assistants told YNOT Harsch and the public at large have “the wrong idea about Dominique, completely.”

“You have to realize Dominique never flaunted his sexuality publicly; these revelations were forced upon him in a calculated effort to bring down a great and noble man,” said Myriam Cochon-Apologiste, who served as DSK’s personal grooming assistant from 2007 to 2009.

“The international media has presented him as a sex monster, but in truth Dominique is a brilliant, kind and very generous man,” added Cochon-Apologiste. “I mean, it says so right here on this affidavit I signed during my exit interview in 2009, just before receiving my half-million euros severance payment in exchange for never publicly mentioning the time he stuck his face between my breasts without warning and started making loud, motor-like noises while we were riding a lift in the Four Seasons.”

Harsch said despite the incidents in DSK’s past and the negative public perception they’ve fostered, he’s convinced DSK is a star just waiting to be born.

“Sure, a lot of people think Dominique is nothing but a fat, old, gross, arrogant, ludicrously entitled shit-for-brains, but there’s also several centuries of historical evidence suggesting a lot of hot, young women find fat, old, gross, arrogant, ludicrously entitled men very sexy — so long as they are also very rich.”

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