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YNOT WTF: Sometimes even serious people need a good laugh.

Finally, a Third-Party Political Porn Parody

Posted On 09 Sep 2016
By : Ben Suroeste

Jill Stein and Gary JohnsonSANTA FE, N.M. – An independent erotic filmmaker has moved to address what she calls a “stunning lack of diversity” in the political porn parody genre, creating what is believed to be the first third-party political porn parody since the 1992 release Deep Inside Ross Perot.

“There’s a misconception about third-party porn parodies being less popular than parodies that target democrats and republicans,” said Demi Denver, the Santa Fe-based pornographer behind the new manual-stimulation-themed release Groping Gary’s Johnson. “Really, it’s just about getting more exposure and creating greater mindshare, which means overcoming the media’s bias against what it considers ‘minor party’ candidates and their pornographic proxies.”

Porn publicist Bryce Gauche, who is helping Denver get the word out about her new Libertarian porn parody, said in the weeks ahead he anticipates a “symbiotic boost” to the popularity of both the movie and the candidate on whom it is based.

“Love it or hate it, porn is a major part of pop culture,” Gauche said. “The fact he has now been immortalized in a porn parody is a statement of how far Johnson has come as a candidate since 2012, when even though she wasn’t on any ballot, Sarah Palin continued to be depicted in porn with regularity, while the industry didn’t even seem to know Johnson existed.”

Underlining the close connection between porn parodies and the campaigns of the politicians they lampoon, Denver said her design and marketing teams burned the midnight oil this week in order to make last moment changes to reflect the latest happenings on the Johnson campaign trail.

“After toiling in obscurity for months, Johnson has finally succeeded in getting the media to talk about him a little bit,” Denver said. “As a result, we’ve made some timely modifications to our trailers, box covers and taglines.”

One glance at the latest iteration of the Groping Gary’s Johnson DVD cover elucidates Denver’s point. Where the tagline once read “Vetoing Dull Sex Since 1995” recent events saw this phrase replaced with “He May Not Know Where Aleppo Is, But Gary Has No Trouble Finding His Costar’s G-spot!”

Beyond having obvious roots in the handjob genre, Denver said her parody’s appeal is broader than many pundits and critics might realize.

“With this movie, I’m trying to find the happy middle ground between the far-left feminist porn perspective expressed in #I’mInHer and the extreme anal conservatism of Trump Her In the Dumper,” Denver said. “People pay so much attention to the fringes of porn in this country, they almost forget about all us moderates in the middle – and no, that’s not a DP reference.”

Respected adult reviewer Rex Rod said while he has yet to screen the film, he believes Groping Gary’s Johnson “just might be the most important political porn parody since 1973’s Watersportsgate.”

“While Denver probably won’t find herself prosecuted on obscenity charges like director Bob Woodhard was for Watersportsgate, it still took guts to buck the trends and make a porno about Gary Johnson instead of lazily adding another float to the Donald Trump porn parody parade,” Rod said. “I’m a little confused by the choice of the handjob genre, as I think this puts an unnecessarily low cap on the breadth of the movie’s appeal, but it sure beats the coprophagia found in so many of the Lyndon LaRouche-based porn parodies of the late 70s.”

According to far-left pornographer Cornhole West, Denver’s parody might not be the only third-party porn alternative available to consumers before the election in November.

“I have a Jill Stein porn parody in the works which is going to blow people’s minds,” West said. “I’m almost done with principal photography, and the only major thing left to do is deciding what to call it. At the moment, I’m torn between the classic feel of Behind the Green Party Door and a more game-show-like affair called Win Jill Stein’s Pussy.”

 

Image of Jill Stein ©Gage Skidmore; Gary Johnson ©Gary Johnson.

About the Author
Ben Suroeste only reports "hard news" -- which is to say "news" that is "hard" to find anywhere else, mostly because he made it all up. He still doesn't have that fifty bucks he owes you, but he's working on it, OK?
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