FINLAND — How much is fondling a set of warm, young, pliable female breasts worth? A Finnish woman with a clever income strategy concluded that 25,500 euros ($32,000) sounded about right — but a court disagreed.Although the woman and her male partner may have been able to keep the cash, the district court has decided the 20-something couple should cool their heels in jail for the next year, although the Kokkola court would not attempt to determine “the proper financial value of the compensation,” appropriate for the crime.

At issue is the excessive fee demanded of a 74-year-old man suffering from dementia, who yearned for the feel of a woman’s breasts. The convicted allowed the man to fondle hers on 10 occasions for the aforementioned price.

“Based on general life experience alone,” Judge Hasse Hakki concluded, “it is indisputably clear that a 25,500 euro charge is disproportionate to the compensation question.”

Of course, Judge Hakki has never seen the woman’s breasts, which the retiree admitted having willingly paid to touch. Hakki did not propose a more appropriate fee for the service.