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By

//Ben Suroeste
Bill

The Bill Is Dead! Long Live the Bill

Pro tip for Congress-watchers: If you spend your time trying to make sense of every fool thing Congress proposes, considers, debates or collectively pontificates about, you will eventually lose your goddamn mind. I know this because, believe it or not, there was a time when I...
Posted On 06 Jan 2021
, By Ben Suroeste
2020 Goodbye and good riddance

2020: WTF Was THAT?

When you think about it, 2020 started off normally enough. By this I mean 2020 started off stupidly, cruelly and ridiculously, with me predictably suffering a liquor, amphetamine and psilocybin-derived hangover so severe that I openly yearned for death. Even so, January 1 gave us...
Posted On 01 Jan 2021
, By Ben Suroeste
Merry Christmas, Motherfuckers

Not Asking for Much This Xmas: I Just Want 2020 To End

CHRISTMAS VILLAGE, North Pole – I’ll admit, there have been times in my life when I’ve been downright greedy with my Christmas gift wish list. Shit, when I was nine, I had the audacity to ask Santa for a handful of Micronauts, a dozen different Star Wars action figures and a...
Posted On 25 Dec 2020
, By Ben Suroeste
A Misinformation Thanksgiving

We Interrupt This Misinformation Nightmare to Eat a Bird

Well, it’s late November, and you know what that means: Discounts on electronics so deep, people will be murdering each other at Best Buy just to make sure they’re first in line to take advantage of bargain priced flat-screen TVs. In the U.S. this year, November also marked our...
Posted On 26 Nov 2020
, By Ben Suroeste
Playwright David Mamet Supports Texas in Social Media Case with… a Short Story?

Porn Journalist Can’t Remember Why He Stopped Leaving House

WHY, Arizona — In a statement released Wednesday, adult industry quasi-journalist Ben Suroeste announced that he can “no longer remember” why he hasn’t left his house since March and that he’s “finally out of toilet paper, hard liquor, pasta, disposable razors, rice,...
Posted On 29 Oct 2020
, By Ben Suroeste
Pinedale Forum 2020

Pinedale Forum 2020 Announces Opening, Immediate Postponement

PINEDALE, Wyo. – The Pinedale Forum, Wyoming’s premier adult industry gathering since 2015, has announced the opening and immediate, indefinite postponement of its 2020 event. “Registration opened this morning and things are already rocking!” tweeted Reggie Cheney, the Founder,...
Posted On 20 Aug 2020
, By Ben Suroeste
Bassett copyright case

Artist’s Copyright Case Against Mile High Set for Jury Trial in February

U.S. District Judge Patti B. Saris issued an order on Thursday granting plaintiff Leah Bassett summary judgment as to liability for copyright infringement and denying the defendants’ motion for summary judgment on the same count. Back in May, Saris issued an order granting in...
Posted On 07 Aug 2020
, By Ben Suroeste
Senators Blumenthal and Graham

If Sites are Liable for Actions of 3rd Parties, are Senators, Too?

Many Senators, including Lindsey Graham and Richard Blumenthal, seem to think interactive online platforms should be held liable for the speech and actions of third party users who use their sites. Would the Senators approve of applying the same reasoning in their direction?
Posted On 08 Jul 2020
, By Ben Suroeste
Happy Independence Day

Happy Independence Day! Now Shut Up

If there’s one thing on which Republicans and Democrats can agree, it’s that free speech is a great and noble thing – as long as they like what someone has to say and it’s not something negative about them. When properly viewed within this context, many things which might...
Posted On 03 Jul 2020
, By Ben Suroeste
public health crisis

Memo to Legislatures: THIS Is What a “Public Health Crisis” Looks Like

Remember all those resolutions passed by state legislatures declaring porn to be a "public health hazard"? YNOT's Ben Suroeste thinks they look just a *little* inflated in the context of the COVID-19 pandemic...
Posted On 02 Apr 2020
, By Ben Suroeste
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