LAS VEGAS – Before he knew anything about the film other than it involved a Christian theme of some sort, outspoken Las Vegas-area atheist Ken Buckner confessed he began “really, sincerely, even stridently looking forward” to the porn parody of War Room: Prayer is a Powerful Weapon, a new movie from faith-based filmmakers Provident Films slated for release Aug 28.
“As much as I look forward to eventually watching the film at home with my friends and treating it to a mercilessly cruel Mystery Science Theater 3000-like barrage of snarky comments, what I’m really eager to see is the porno version,” said Buckner, a 34-year-old who has been a doctoral candidate in the American literature department at the University of Nevada-Carter Springs since 2006. “Will they go interracial with it? Will any kind of effort be made to mimic the style and aesthetic of the original, or is this just going to be some cheap gonzo crap? For that matter, might not the gonzo approach be even more offensive to the faithful? So many questions and possibilities.”
Buckner’s long-time girlfriend, Ellen Johnson, said while she shares her boyfriend’s godlessness, she’s “honestly kind of put-off” by his extreme enthusiasm for the inevitable War Room porn parody.
“Part of me thinks he’s just using his well-documented history of riling up Christians at every opportunity as an excuse in advance to yet again try to get me to watch hardcore smut with him,” Johnson said. “He once got me to watch the porn version of some superhero movie by pretending he was only interested in the plot and costumes—but, strangely enough, he seemed to be in no hurry to fast-forward through any of the ass-fucking or blowjobs.”
While Buckner maintains his interest in the notion of a War Room porn parody is “strictly from the perspective of a satire fan,” he can’t help speculating about details that seem more pornographic than comical—like casting options, featured sex acts and whether or not condoms will be used.
“Some of the main characters in War Room appear to be elderly, so this raises the question of whether there will be some geriatric action in the mix,” observed Buckner. “There’s at least one half-hot brunette chick in the cast of the real flick. I’m hoping in the porn version the character is played by a real smoker, someone with great tits who is OK with doing anal and DP, ideally—just because of how much it would benefit the satirical aspects of the movie, obviously.”
Leading porn parody film critic Dr. Rex Rod said while he shares Johnson’s skepticism concerning the true nature of her boyfriend’s anticipation of War Room receiving the porn parody treatment, Buckner “raises some compelling questions.”
“In porn parodies, there is indeed a tendency to cast performers based on their physical similarity to the actors in the original film, but when one of your primary goals includes effectively arousing a mainstream porn audience, ‘realism’ in porn-parody casting obviously does have a point of diminishing returns,” opined Rod. “In the gay porn parody Monuments Men, for example, there’s a reason the character of Walter Garfield appears in a non-sexual role: The directors know nobody wants to see a John Goodman lookalike bent over the hood of an army jeep taking it up his enormous, flabby ass.”
Buckner’s roommate, Neal MacBain, said he just hopes Buckner doesn’t use his laptop to watch the eventual War Room parody, as he has on occasion with other pornographic videos.
“There’s nothing worse than having your girlfriend ask to use your computer to check her email and finding out your roommate left a window open with The Grand Booty-Pest Hotel paused in the middle of the double-anal scene,” MacBain said. “Not only does it sound like a really lame made-up excuse to say it was Ken’s fault, but now she probably thinks I want to share her anus with another man, and this is something I would just never do—not simultaneously, at least.”
War Room hits theaters on Friday. Presumably, the porn parody will be released by the following Sunday afternoon, although as of press time it remained unclear which adult studio will be first to market.
