WOODLAND HILLS, Calif. – In yet another timely and topical entry in its “Ask A Porn Star” series, adult entertainment studio Oak Missile probes the touchy subject of police misconduct, asking performers “What is the Strangest Police Interaction You’ve Had?”
Now you can hear all about performers blowing cops to get out of traffic tickets, entire film crews engaging in “sex cops and porn robbers” role-play to avoid incurring fines for shooting without a permit and a wild incident involving anal sex superstar Sasha McTush which industry insiders have come to refer to as the “infamous DP-UI checkpoint.”
Below is a small sample of the many entertaining performer responses recorded by Oak Missile.
Jennifer Lowe-Rents: My weirdest encounter with a cop was with an off-duty officer who came out to watch me as a feature dancer when I was on a nationwide gentleman’s club tour back in 2011. He gave me a really big tip, so I agreed to do some private dances for him in the VIP room. That’s when things got weird.
As soon as we got to the VIP, he asked me for my license and registration. I’m like, “What? I don’t carry my registration in my G-string.” Then he tells me my booty shorts have a broken taillight and starts scribbling on a napkin. He hands me the napkin and it says “Repair Order, broken taillight, 10/8/11.” I start laughing, figuring he just has a warped sense of humor or something, but then he freaks out at me for laughing and starts threatening to arrest me for assault, claiming one of the sequins from my costume had hit him in the eye as result of me “twerking dangerously, with blatant disregard for public safety.” But I never even started dancing for him, so how could I have twerked a shiny piece of plastic into his eye?
At this point, I was really seriously questioning whether this guy was just some nut and not really an off-duty cop. But after I had the bouncer throw him out, he shot an unarmed black guy in the club’s parking lot, so I guess he really must have been a cop, after all.
Evan Polyurethane: This wasn’t just the strangest interaction I’ve had with a cop. It was the strangest interaction I’ve had with anyone, period.
I was walking down the street in L.A. when I spotted this guy who was supposed to have thrown a boxing match in order to make me a lot of money, but instead he’d secretly bet on himself and totally screwed me. Anyway, I saw this guy and chased him inside a nearby military surplus store and somehow we both ended up in the basement with ball gags in our mouths.
Eventually, the guy who ran the store brought in this corrupt, racist cop, who tells the shop owner to “bring out the gimp.” The next thing I know, some dude in a zipper-mask is kneeling there in front of us while the cop does the eeny-meeny-miney-moe thing, and then… Wait a minute. That’s a scene from a Tarantino movie, isn’t it? I get his movies mixed up with my own life a lot. I should probably stop snorting bath salts before these Q&A sessions.
Mina Pause: My weirdest encounter with a cop actually took place in another country. We were filming in this little beach-side town in Baja California, which despite its name is part of Mexico — something I didn’t know when I agreed to go down there.
Anyway, I’m in the middle of doing an anal scene on the beach when this guy in a uniform walks up with a beer in his hand and in heavily accented English tells us we can’t film there without a permit. So the director asks where and how we get a permit and the guy points to his crotch and says “I’ve got your permit swinging, maricón.”
Now, I’m sure he just couldn’t say “American” because of his accent, but the director, who happened to be Mexican-American, seemed to really not like being referred to as an American for some reason. The next thing I know, they’re wrestling around with each other and suddenly a little metal case falls out of the cop’s shirt pocket. I pick it up, and it’s literally full of cocaine. So I just walk over to the car as they continue to grapple in the sand, cut some nice big lines on the hood and have myself a few little toots.
The Mexican cop sees me doing this and he’s like “Hey, puta, you can’t do my coke!” What makes this so strange is Puta is my sister’s name — and she’s not famous at all, so I have no idea how this cop got me confused with someone he couldn’t possibly have ever seen or met. So strange!
Sasha McTush: Everybody is always asking me about the “infamous DP-UI checkpoint,” which is really stupid, because it was just a scene I shot for director Trenton Quarantino’s 2010 porn parody, The Thick Blue Cock.
The reason everyone thinks the DP-UI stop is something that actually happened in real life is they’ve been told the story by Evan Polyurethane, who played one of the cops in the scene, and Evan has burned out so much of his brain with bath salts he can’t keep reality separate from fantasy anymore. For example, we were supposed to do another scene together a few weeks back, but then we found out Evan was in London, because he’d gotten so into playing FIFA 16 he’d somehow convinced himself he was a soccer player named “Dmitri Payet.” What a fucking loser.
