GERMANY — Remember all the porn flicks where women get free pizzas, rent, and other valuable cash and prizes simply by sucking and fucking men they likely wouldn’t have otherwise given a second glance. Well, apparently it doesn’t only happen in porn. A none-too-bright German bank manager has learned the hard way that sometimes letting the little head think for the big one isn’t the best way to plan a successful career, especially in finance.

The man’s three-year affair with a woman whose inability to remain employed made it impossible for her to get a loan has come back to bite him on the butt big time. After agreeing to give her loans in exchange for sexual favors, the giddy banker apparently couldn’t keep his proud mouth shut so, in spite of the inconvenient reality of a wife and children, he boasted about the arrangement to the woman’s cousin – who promptly spread the word around the family.

Alas for the bank manager, said family realized that the information was blackmail gold.

Although the horny financier continued to get lucky, as is so often the case, the presence of money motivated relatives made the trysts even more expensive. In order to keep making ends meet, so to speak, the man ultimately embezzled as much as 520,000 euros ($760,000 US) from various client accounts. According to a Tuebingen, Germany court representative 70,000 of these euros went to the pussy powered woman and her relatives, while the man another 40,000 to comfort himself in his suffering.

Everything went along swimmingly, until the man’s overall loan management history came under inspection by the bank.

“As incredible as it sounds,” the court representative explains, “that’s what he told us. The cousin was suspicious and she called him to ask how the woman got a loan.”

The man, now liberated of his employment, his mistress, and her family, has been sentenced to three years and nine months in jail.