In the lead-up to the 2020 Adult Entertainment Expo and AVN Awards in Las Vegas this week, the porn-making and porn-viewing worlds are all breathlessly wondering the same thing: What breakfast cereal do porn stars like best?
It’s a question that’s plagued us for many years, but thanks to Woodrocket’s main man, Lee Roy Myers, the world finally has its answer! Well, sort of.
Myers is planning a cereal-themed brunch for porn performers and other industry insiders next Sunday. Last Saturday, he tweeted an image of the nutrition information on the side of a cereal box (probably Froot Loops, from the looks of it) repurposed as an invitation to a “Post AVN Brunch” for “Adult Industry Only: Performers, Cam Models, Production People, Producers, Directors. If you work in the Adult Industry, you are welcome!”
As I buy cereal for 200 people, tell me, what are YOUR top 3 favorite cereals? What type of milk? Any toppings?#AskAPornStar pic.twitter.com/1iISyJue0S
— Lee Roy Myers (@leeroymyers) January 18, 2020
With the image, he wrote: “As I buy cereal for 200 people, tell me, what are YOUR top 3 favorite cereals? What type of milk? Any toppings?” And the industry responded.
Well, the internet responded. With nearly a hundred replies as of the time I’m writing this, it’s not easy to tell for certain which of the responses are from true industry insiders and which are not. After all, not every camera person or video editor makes it clear in their Twitter profile that they’re in adult film. So I’ve given all respondents the benefit of the doubt and included them all in my tally.
But tally I did! Because I knew that I couldn’t be the only one out here whose brain yearned to discover, once and for all: What is porn’s favorite cereal?
The answer is simple: Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
Hands down. No competition. Porn folks adore their out-of-this-world cinnamon swirls more than any other cereal, giving this breakfast favorite a full 15 enthusiastic votes.
Coming in a relatively distant second place with 12 votes were Frosted Flakes. These perennial favorites may be a tad on the simple side, but porn industry denizens agree that they’re gr-r-reat!
Cap’n Crunch technically amassed 10 votes, which puts it in third place. However, those ten votes were split amongst different varieties of Crunch Time. (Original Cap’n Crunch got 5 votes; Crunchberries and Peanut Butter both earned 2; and All Berries got 1.) Meanwhile, Lucky Charms, Fruity Pebbles,and Cheerios all got 9 votes each—though Cheerios’ votes were divided between original (4), Honey Nut (3), Multi-Grain (1), and Peach (1). (PS, I had no idea that Peach Cheerios existed! Turns out they’re a limited-edition gluten-free event.)
Froot Loops had a strong showing with 8 votes—although Jordan Tyler was the only one of those eight votes to correctly spell “Froot.”
Life, Apple Jacks, and Frosted Mini-Wheats each clocked in at 5 votes, and the reset of the field lagged farther behind.
There were a few notable requests, including Kit Kendal, who tweeted: ““Please get some baby shark cereal idk what it is but i keep seeing the boxes at Walmart lol.”
Someone whose username is “FitLAguy” lived up to his “fit” hype by requesting, simply and boringly, “Raisin Bran.”
And XXX Star PR utterly missed the point by responding: “Scrambled eggs, crispy bacon, and a warm bagel fresh out of the oven with a little butter.” I hope they don’t show up to the cereal party expecting eggs. How embarrassing.
On the milk front, it appears that most porn stars do not enjoy dairy milk on their cereal. As it can lead to bloating and indigestion for those who don’t process lactose, we suppose that’s to be expected from a camera-ready crowd such as this.
Almond milk won the day with a resounding 11 votes, with oat milk clocking only 4 and whole dairy milk tying with “regular” milk (whatever that means) at 2 votes each.
Notably, Xaya Lovelle stayed on brand and requested “Whipped cream instead of milk, of course.”
And one individual named John Glowatz, who appears not to be in the industry, but who apparently thinks everyone needs to know about his childhood cereal-eating habits, wrote, “My alltime [sic] fave is to put a few scoops of ice cream in a big bowl and pour reeses [sic] puffs on top. Then milk.” Noted, John.
Meanwhile, Lee Roy Myers tells YNOT he’s purchased “about 1500 oz of cereal or about 100 regular boxes. And 12 boxes of that is Cinnamon Toast Crunch.”
Cereal image by freestocks.org from Pexels
