ATHENS — There will be no U-Haul trucks pulling up in front of apartments on the Mediterranean island of Lesbos helping lesbians and Lesbians live together in pussy licking harmony. Instead, they’ll be meeting in a court of law, because the Lesbian inhabitants of the Aegean island are sick of being confused with… lesbians.The Greeks may have a word for any number of things, but how to distinguish island residents from women-loving-women does not appear to have been one of those things. Thus, three plaintiffs have insisted that a court of law bring the world’s same-sex preferring women into line.

Specifically targeted is the Homosexual and Lesbian Community of Greece, which one pained Lesbian insists “insults the identity” of other citizens of Lesbos – who are properly referred to as Lesbians.

Although famous as the birthplace of the likely bisexual 6th century BC poet Sappho, whose words of love and praise for other women have long stirred the spirits of females similarly inclined, not everyone appreciates the association.
Two women and one man insist that the group should not be allowed to use the word “lesbian” in its name, due to confusion and embarrassment on the part of the islanders who, as Dimitris Lambrou, the male plaintiff, explained to the Associated Press, sometimes have a hard time explaining where they live.

“My sister can’t say she is a Lesbian,” Lambrou points out. “Our geographical designation has been usurped by certain ladies who have no connection whatsoever with Lesbos.”

While Lambrou is correct that most lesbians are not also Lesbians, the island – also called Mytilene after its capital – is a popular vacation and holiday spot for lesbians, especially those seeking Eressos, the supposed home of Sappho.

“This is not an aggressive act against gay women,” Lambrou, who doesn’t believe Sappho preferred women, insists. “Let them visit Lesbos and get married and whatever they like. We just want to remove the word lesbian from their title.”

Although Lambrou admits that the term “lesbian” has been in common use for several decades, he believes that the islanders’ multi-thousand year legacy trumps the convenience of more modern popular use.

The case will be heard on June 10th in an Athens’ court.

Whether residents of the Crete, the largest of the Greek islands, will be inspired to file suit against the world for its citizenry’s use of the word “cretin” is uncertain.