DELCAMBRE, LA — The only muffin tops that will be showing in the Cajon town of Delcambre, LA will be chilling at the bakery – and the only saggy pants likely to make it out the front door will belong to toddlers needing a change, thanks to the decisive action of the Delcambre Town Council.Mayor Carol Broussard has every intention of signing an “anti-sag” ordinance passed unanimously by the city’s Council.
The ordinance is in response to behavior that the city representatives think has gone far too far… below the belt line.
Because too many young people were sporting low slung waistbands, revealing tan lines, panties, boxers, and “private parts,” an indecency ordinance was slapped together in an attempt to put a little modesty into street attire. With up to six months in jail and a $500 fine as incentive, the town of 2,000 may achieve its goal. Or not.
“I don’t know if it will do any good, but it won’t hurt,” Councilman Albert Roy confessed to Fox News about the ordinance he introduced. “It’s obvious, and anybody with common sense can see your parts when you wear sagging pants.”
Hip-hop is apparently to blame for the surge of mostly male youths donning low slung pants and the association has caused some to view the law as racist in application, something Broussard denies, insisting that “White people wear sagging pants, too. Anybody who wears these pants should be held responsible.”
In addition to not being racist, Broussard assures citizens that the law isn’t sexist, since it applies equally to men and women. “If you expose some of your privates, the crack of your behind, if somebody feels insulted, they should press charges. If you’re offended by it, we want to straighten that out.”
Lest anyone take the term “straight” too much to heart, the mayor says that in spite of the law including a clause about “dress not becoming to his or her sex,” that doesn’t mean voters can’t cross dress, so long as the dress in question isn’t “too short.” Presumably, this extends to more traditionally gender associated garments, as well.
In spite of introducing the ordinance, Roy thinks the fine is too high. “I think it should be something like $25,” he proposes.
Meanwhile, some citizens have suggested that the ordinance may simply be another example of bureaucratic redundancy, given that the state of Louisiana already has an indecent exposure law. Supporters have responded by stating that the law doesn’t go far enough, given that it does not include underwear.
There is not yet any word on whether swim garments worn alone or under sagging pants would violate the ordinance.
