GERARDVILLE, PA — Father Edward Commolly can’t get the image of big fake boobs out of his mind. In fact, he’s vowed to visit them whenever possible — and pray for their removal. The big fake boobs in question belong to a plaster pirate statue depicting a saucy female character surrounded by treasure while wearing boots, hip hugging pants and a low cut white, front tied top.

According to the good father, who presumably stops by to confirm his fears regularly, the statue is “indecent” and should be “categorized as soft porn.”

In addition to being “soft porn,” Commolly considers the curvy sailor to be a “public assault” that demands removal.

Or perhaps he’s the only one making that demand. Given footage appearing on the WNEP.com website, he appears to be an army of one.

While the statue stands in the entrance of a Girardville, PA antique store awaiting a buyer, Commolly is plotting and praying for its demise.

In fact, Peggy Kanigoski, the shop owner, recounts that not only has he commanded her to remove the statue, but during one protest of the moral outrage, the Roman Catholic priest went so far as to point at it “very dictatorially and said, ‘I curse you. I curse this place. I want to see this destroyed. I want her destroyed.”

Commolly insists that Kanigoski is incorrect about his behavior. “Nor did I curse in the sense of putting a curse on them,” he insists. “In fact, I did quite the opposite. I blessed them.”

Kanigoski isn’t particularly interested in having the priest’s blessing, although she is pleased by the popularity of the offending statue in question, pointing out that it’s become quite an attraction, drawing many a potential customer into the building.

Commolly probably won’t convert into a paying customer, but he has vowed to visit the statue frequently and pray for its banishment.