Tgirls – a.k.a. shemales – appear to be all the rage among “straight” males desiring the softness of women’s breasts and the hardness of male cocks. But with any sexual trend comes important questions; especially in this age of AIDS and other serious STDs: To wit, what constitutes safe sex for tgirls and their lovers?To find out, we turned to Nikki. She is a Toronto-based tgirl columnist with www.tgirlnews.com, a University of Toronto student in Sexual Diversity Studies and supports safer practices in the sex industry She has an online escorting ad at www.shemalecanada.com/escort/tgirlnikki/ and also appears as a dancer at Goodhandy’s and The Lounge.
YNOT: When we are talking about safe t-girl sex — both for her and her partner — what are we referring to specifically?
Nikki: When discussing “safe sex” or “safer sex” we normally refer to sexual activity that involves active protection against STIs (sexually transmitted infections). In some situations, “safe sex” also refers to birth control, which is only a concern for t-girls having sex with genetic girls. Since we t-girls can’t get pregnant, “safe sex” between men and t-girls generally involves using latex condoms to minimize the risk of STI transmission, particularly HIV.
YNOT: How risky are the various sexual activities that a tgirl and her partner might enjoy, in terms of risk?
Nikki: In the past, it was thought that the “active” partner (the “top”) was less likely to acquire an STI than the “passive” (“bottom”) partner. Simply put, receiving was seen as more dangerous than giving. Research has proven that to be untrue and both partners are at risk of STI transmission during unprotected, penetrative sex.
T-girl erotica puts a lot of emphasis on oral-genital contact, which is a fairly low-risk activity, but not completely safe. People also believed that HIV couldn’t be transmitted by oral sex, another myth that has been proven false. Both herpes and HIV can be transmitted orally, so exercise caution if you or your partner have HIV or have any open sores in or around your mouth or genitals.
Because of the high representation of t-girls in the sex trade, people also assume that t-girl escorts are a high risk for STI transmission. However, research has shown the opposite to be true; many sex workers tend to have a much higher rate of condom use and safe-sex practices, and also test ourselves more regularly than the general public.
It may be a surprise to some, but the reality is that t-girl escorts are usually more educated about STIs than the overall population and routinely engage in safer sexual behaviors than any other demographic. The irony is, since people (especially married clients) assume us to be high risks for STIs, they take it upon themselves to insist on protection – which, in turn, minimizes STI transmission. Some clients will occasionally ask to see my test results, which I’m more than happy to provide – that tells me the client is cautious and more likely to have protected himself during other liaisons.
Safe sex is often a two-way street, but you’re still responsible for your own safety. Even though I’ve never tested positive for an STI, I take precautions to protect myself (and others) from harm.
YNOT: What STIs are the most prevalent and how can they be prevented?
Nikki: Approximately one million cases of STIs occurred in Canada last year, half of which were found in youths between 15-24. Rates for syphilis, gonorrhea and chlamydia have been rising steadily over the last 10 years and other STIs like hepatitis, HPV and herpes remain a major concern.
Actual numbers are hard to come by, because a lot of people with STIs don’t even know they have them. As many as one-third of HIV-positive people in Canada don’t know that they’re positive, so it’s better to be safe than sorry. If you’re not sure about your HIV status, go get tested right away.
HIV is the most dangerous STI. It can be spread through sexual contact involving the exchange of certain fluids, including semen, vaginal fluids, or anal fluids, but saliva does not carry the HIV virus. The most dangerous means of transmitting HIV is through the sharing of needles. This is a concern for people who use drugs intravenously, but also for t-girls who might share needles to inject hormones into their bodies. Needle sharing has a higher correlation with HIV transmission than any other factor, so if you use needles for any type of injection, visit a needle exchange to make sure you’re keeping yourself as safe as possible.
Herpes actually refers to two different types of virus; oral herpes is extremely common and comes in the form of cold sores inside or outside the mouth. Genital herpes are sores in or around the pubic area, and can be contracted by oral or genital sex; many people with herpes are totally asymptomatic.
Condoms are the best method of protection, but they’re not foolproof. You can protect yourself further by not shaving or brushing your teeth directly before an encounter; razors create microscopic cuts on the skin which give certain STIs an easy entry point and the bristles on your toothbrush create tiny cuts in your mouth, as well. It’s best to wait at least half an hour after brushing, and if you’re a smoker, stretch that time to two hours; smokers’ mouths don’t heal as quickly.
For STI testing, those of us in the GTA [Greater Toronto Area] can visit the Hassle-Free Clinic at Church St and Gerrard St. (www.hasslefreeclinic.org) They are non-judgmental, open and well-informed. You don’t need to provide ID or a health card number and they offer anonymous, on-site HIV testing, which provides immediate results without the agony of a two-week waiting period. They are trans-friendly and sex worker-friendly and I visit the Hassle-Free Clinic every three months as part of my own testing regimen.
Although abstinence is touted as the ideal solution, it’s not necessarily desirable or practical. The best option is to educate yourself about STIs and how they’re transmitted, test yourself regularly, and minimize your risk through condom use.
YNOT: What precautions do you yourself take and expect your partner to take?
Nikki: I always use condoms for penetrative sex, because that’s one of the riskier activities. I also use condoms for oral sex and I try to brush my teeth at least an hour before any sexual encounters. I even use condoms on my sex toys and always clean them carefully after use. I also test myself regularly at the Hassle-Free Clinic, just to be sure.
YNOT: Can safe t-girl sex be good sex? Or is something missing?
Nikki: Safe sex doesn’t have to be unsexy; there are lots of ways to spice things up while staying safe. Flavored lubricants can be very tasty and I know a lot of people who love ribbed or studded condoms. As for my partners, I don’t wait to see if they wants to use a condom or not; I take the initiative by always carrying them with me, and I’ll even put his condom on for him. One great trick for t-girls is to put a condom in your mouth before going down on him and putting it on that way; it’s a fun, sexy way to stay safe
In fact, safe sex is great sex! With safe sex, you don’t have to worry about STIs and you can concentrate on enjoying yourself instead. Sex is supposed to be pleasurable and dynamic; keeping things safe lets you relax and simply enjoy the experience, rather than worrying about your health.
Above all else, safe sex is your own responsibility. Know the risks, take the precautions, don’t be afraid to talk about safe sex or STIs with your partner and don’t be scared to get tested if you think you may have caught something. Like most infections, STIs are easiest to deal with at the early stages, so take responsibility for your sexual health and get tested regularly.
Get educated, get tested and get protected – if you do these three simple things, you can get it on without getting an STI. Safe sex is my choice and my responsibility — because it’s my life, and I want to enjoy it for as long as possible.
