Artsy fartsy types of the world have one more reason to celebrate during this holiday season. All of those cold winter nights without heat, sick days without medical insurance, long rides on mass transit, awkward meetings with the parents of new sweeties, and funny looks from “normal” people have greater meaning now, thanks to the results of a British sex survey.According to a report in the journal Proceedings of the Royal Society written by Daniel Nettle, a psychologist at the University of Newcastle, and his colleague Helen Keenoo, photographers, writers, musicians, artists, poets, and other generally odd, disorganized, concentration-challenged, anti-social, and creative types may not get rich as easily as their brethren and sistern in the IT, medical, legal, or accounting fields, but they do get laid a helluva lot more often.
Picture me doing a happy dance. It’s about the only way I can keep warm in my ice box of a house except for standing by the oven with the door open while it’s heating – or having sex.
Nettle, Keenoo, and their staff of presumably less sexually fortunate co-researchers surveyed 425 adults, some of whom are truly insane enough to dedicate their lives to the arts. Their goal was to find out if it’s true that they get more action and, if so, figure out why. What they found out probably won’t surprise any well-heeled strip club patron who’s watched his favorite dancer walk off with a long haired bass player, but it just might put a little more bounce in that bass player’s step.
As Nettle and company see it, the stereotype of the eccentric artist is pretty much spot on. In fact, certain schizophrenic-related personality traits may actually be what make creative-types so attractive to members of their preferred romantic and sexual demographic. I have to confess that being a lovable bubble-off-plumb has certainly worked for me, although not everyone has the same luck. Perhaps it’s the fact that most artist-types exude and thrive on something that the mainstream actively discourages: individuality. The researchers described it as a tendency for creatives to behave, think, and perceive the world in “unusual” ways. I like to think of it as being interesting, which is, I admit, fairly unusual. This willingness – or compulsion, if truth be told for some of us – relates not only to creative but also sexual success.
“Successful creative types are signaling that they have unusual mental qualities that can command the attention of others,” Nettle explained, “and as such, they are likely to bear or sire us children who can do the same.”
Whatever it is, the study says that it works. Of the 425 adults involved, those who identified as serious practitioners of the creative arts generally reported more sexual encounters with more people than did the less gifted subjects, regardless of whether they dabbled in or completely avoided creativity.
It is probably not a surprise that some of these same tendencies are found in schizophrenics. Although the study didn’t explore the sexual successes of people with the mental health diagnosis, it did speculate that these similar, attractive traits could explain why the ailment hasn’t vanished. Let’s face it, how many times have we looked at someone totally hot and off the charts and wondered whether they were a creative genius or just a complete nut case? And how many people have decided they didn’t care; they just wanted a piece of that action?
History is filled with romantic tales of creative excess. But now it’s more than just speculation and conjecture. Not only are hardcore artists more likely to act a little nutty and still score with the hot chicks (or dudes), they are more likely to come from families with schizophrenia. The difference, according to Nettle, is that whereas Schizophrenics often suffer ill health and have a difficult time adapting to the world around them, creative people are able to adapt their aberrant behavior and use it to their advantage. By blending their natural abilities to create art with words, music, or images, with their unique perspectives and experiences, creative people not only produce works of art, but maintain their overall health, and appear more attractive to potential mates.
Now, instead of feeling insecure, the next time someone accuses me of being “fuckin’ crazy,” my heart can fill with pity for them, because I can safely assume that they’re cranky from not getting any; certainly not from me.
