BETHESDA, MD — The economy is in the tank, people are still brawling about November’s election results, a new American industry seems to collapse every day and wars rage on multiple fronts in the Middle East.But cheer up. Indicators point to 2009 becoming a banner year for sex.
According to The Futurist, a 31-year-old magazine published bi-monthly by the World Future Society, women’s growing economic power worldwide will empower them in many ways. One of the ways in which women will choose to exercise their clout is to have more intercourse.
Each year The Futurist publishes a list of predictions and forecasts compiled by international visionaries. Another prognostication for 2009 is that Americans will cut back on their use of antidepressants.
The two could be related, as one of the unfortunate side effects of antidepressants is suppression of sexual desire. In 2008, 100 million prescriptions for antidepressants were filled in the U.S. alone. That’s a lot of libido suppression.
A third prediction could interfere with the first two, however: Retirees will return to the workforce in increasing numbers. One has to wonder how many newly sexually active, antidepressant-free, economically empowered female former retirees will be too tired to engage their sex drives after a long day at the office.
In addition, the forecast that “Everything you say and do may be recorded” could get in the way of bedroom romps, unless exhausted, formerly-retired-but-now-working, happy and financially powerful women are turned on by the prospect of their rolls in the hay being webcast on PornoTube.
Of course, perhaps the visionary who predicted “better blood flow, more energy, thanks to high-tech underwear” knows something the rest of us don’t. Exactly where is sex-haptics technology of the sort embodied by AEBN’s soon-to-be-unveiled Real Touch headed, anyway?
Wherever it goes, expect it to take off — literally. A perennial prediction first voiced in the 1930s showed up on the list again: “Flying cars may be on the way at last.”
Let’s hope they have autopilots so if the urge for a backseat quickie overcomes us mid-journey, we can indulge.
Let the orgies begin.
