BERLIN, GERMANY — When 18-year-old Alina Percea decided to auction off her otherwise useless virginity in hopes of earning a little experience and some money toward her education, she didn’t realize how much it would cost her.But now she knows that the price of selling her virginity to a stranger is a neat $7,000 American.
Having only managed to garner a rather pitiful $14,000 for the first-time experience, Romanian Percea found herself nowhere near the $75,000 she had hoped for – and even farther from the $3.8 million-plus to be paid for American Natalie Dylan’s liberation from chastity.
Nonetheless, Percea assures the world that her time in a luxury hotel in Venice with a 45-year-old Italian businessman was worth the time, effort and, presumably, taxes.
“I like the man,” she explained, “and got on with him well. He didn’t look 45 and he seemed much younger. I was attracted to him, so I enjoyed it.”
The German government, hearing about the strange sale and cognizant of the fact it has a right to the profits since Percea lives and attends school to train as a computer studies student within its borders, promptly put its tax collecting hand out.
As far as Germany is concerned, Percea’s first act of intercourse was also an act of prostitution. Given that prostitution is legal, that means it wants its cut of the action.
“It is not a moral standpoint, but a fiscal one,” a tax official opined. “Prostitution is not an illegal act in Germany, but not paying tax on earned money is. Consequently, we are assessing her case and it looks likely she will have to pay around half of the sum she gained.”
Alas, Percea, who has a 90-day work visa, may also be stuck paying value-added tax, which is essentially a sales tax, on the auction earnings, since the sale of goods and services racks up another impressive 19-percent.
One tax expert suggested that part of Percea’s financial problem stems from the fact she publicized her money-raising scheme, thus bringing it to the government’s attention.
“She would have been better off keeping quiet about this strange transaction,” the unnamed source stated.
Alas for the not-quiet-Percea, in addition to paying nearly half of her earnings in taxes, she had to make a visit to the pharmacy the morning after letting her Italian buyer pop her cherry. Why? Because one of the conditions for sale had been that the carnal act would be performed sans birth control if the highest bidder was STD free.
“I took the morning-after pill,” she told the world.
All-in-all, the experience likely earned Percea a not-so-whopping $4,700.
Now, that’s fucked.
